This Coffin Bar With Skeleton comes from a Craigslist ad from Dallas. If you own a weird tavern, or creepy bar, you may want to get this thing.
Hey bartender, why is it so dead in here?
Hey bartender, what’s with the corpse in the bar? Oh, he didn’t pay his tab.
It would be hard to drink up with that thing looking at you. You can remove the skeleton and crawl in yourself if you want.
via Neatorama
Poop. It’s what clogs up your toilet so you have to plunge and get nasty toilet water all over you. Poop is the enemy. Why do you think we get rid of it everyday? Why do you think we put it in flaming bags so other people step on it? Well, when it comes to clogging up the old docking yards with your Cleveland steamers, you have to fight poop with poop. Get the Poop Emoji Plunger.
This Book of Spells Altered Composition Notebook is not to be confused with The Book of Smells, which sounds like a cool scratch and sniff book, but really it’s just an old notebook I sat on one night when feeling gassy. And that’s how that book got it’s name. We keep it under a glass dome and try not to upset it.
No, I’m pretty sure this one helps you spell stuff, so your English teacher would approve. What? Really? It’s about magic spells? Sweet! Abra Cadabra, I just saw a Chupacabra! *Looks out my window* It worked! It worked!
These Frankenstein and Bride Wine Bottle Vases make a nice romantic gift for the monster in your life your wife. Those flowers look pretty good in that bottle. I give my wife the gift of booze bottles with flowers in all of the time. That’s cuz I buy booze on the way home, drink it up as I walk, then pluck some flowers and insert them. She’s happy, I’m happy. They’re usually dead by the time I present them to her though. Flowers don’t exactly thrive on liquor fumes.
Vroom vroom! I love hitting the open road with my bone-r-cycle and feeling the power of the skeleton rev between my legs. That’s why I love this Bone Chillin’ Skeleton Motorcycle Statue. I’ll ride anything with ribs. I realize how dirty that sounds. It’s literally a white knuckle ride. See that guy’s knuckles there on the front wheel? White. I think this guy was in that show called Bones of Anarchy. Love that show. Skeleton gangs rule!