I’ve never thought of setting the head of a bat on fire to set some mood lighting, but why the hell not? This Bat Skull Beeswax Candle Set gives you the waxy bat heads you need to get some light up in your belfry. You can choose from a larger or smaller base. *rings the bell for my servant* “Night approaches. Also I forgot to pay the electric bill. Do light the bat heads Jeeves.”
Tag: beeswax
Beeswax Coffin Candle Set
Mind your own beeswax by displaying this macabre Beeswax Coffin Candle Set in your home or funeral parlor. Macabre. That’s a weird word. Should be said like mac-ab-bree, but people say mac-cobb. Words are weird. That’s okay, we like weird. Imma put a bunch of these on a birthday cake for a really old person and see if I get punched.
Dragon Skull Beeswax Candle
Cool Dragon Skull Beeswax Candle dude! Mind your own beeswax!
If you light it, they will come. Huh? Who’s that? If you light it, they will come. Uhhhhh. That’s the first time the voices ever said that. *Shrugs and lights my awesome dragon candle.* Weird. It’s getting all dark and stormy outside. Sounds like wings flapping. And shrieks. *Watches as a dragon busts through the window pane. Another bursts out of the fireplace. And the front door. Then the Kool-Aid man breaks through the wall shouting, “Oh yeah!”*
Oh f**k! What have I done?
Victorian Dog Candles
These beeswax candles from Etsy seller Darknessvoid are Dogs in Victorian dress. Do you smell the wax that they’re burning? Lifting their leg on? It’s a dog eat dog world. You might as well have some high class dog candles to like your way.
These are for the sophisticated dog lover. Not for the likes of you and me who let our pooches run around the dog park humping anything and everything. More for those types who carry dogs in handbags and tell the butler to clean up fifi’s poo with the gold plated family pooper scooper.
Read more “Victorian Dog Candles”
Haunted House Black Beeswax Candle
This haunted house candle made from beeswax will let you do something you’ve always wanted to do. Burn down a haunted house and send the ghouls back to their ever lovin’ hell. When you get to the bottom of the candle and it’s nothing but a gooey pile of waxy rubble, you can be all like, “Haha ghosts. Now what are you gonna haunt?” *You* “Wait. What?” *How did you think it worked?*
“I can reshape this beeswax in no time. Just give me like 4 hours.” *Why 4 hours?* “I have kind of an attention deficit problem. I was gonna play Mario Kart, but then I pet a cat, then noticed the internet. That reminded me about Minecraft and a few hours later, I looked up, saw the candle and lit it because…fire.” *Booming voice* MORON *whoooooosh* *curtains lift in the breeze*
Well, there’s another ghost successfully banished. Out you pixies go, through the door or out the window. Oh look, a cat video.
Read more “Haunted House Black Beeswax Candle”