Skull and Bones Door Knocker

Skull and Bones Door Knocker
Knock knock knock. I want to use this Skull and Bones Door Knocker so bad. I can almost feel it in my hand. Where’s my shopping VR program already? I just want to move his jaw and hear the sound. Pretend that he’s talking as I do. Then when the person answers the door, I’ll be all like, “Just go back inside. I’m playing here.” See I know how to pony like bony-maronie. I also know to leave when the police are called cuz some dude won’t stop f**king with your door knocker. But I’m taking it with me and putting it on my door.

Long story short: Not a good idea. Blogging from jail now. The pokey. The Hoosegow. Ye old ship of butt pirates tryin’ to shiv and shiver me timbers. Anyone have bail money? Cuz I really wanna bail now.

Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Pillow Set

Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Pillow Set
This Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Pillow Set is perfect for you and your monster bride. I like how they have the heads on them so you know which side of the bed is yours. Monsters! Talk about bumping uglies! Am I right? Frankenstein sex is known as the monster mash. And despite what you’ve heard it is not a graveyard smash. And it did not catch on in a flash. Cuz it’s nasty. Worse than old people doing it.

Poseable Life Size Skeleton Lamps

Poseable Life Size Skeleton Lamps
No, these Poseable Life Size Skeleton Lamps aren’t creepy at all. Look at them looking at ya, throwing some shade. You can pose them any way you want, which means you need two of them so you can make it all dirty and stuff. It doesn’t matter how you display them, that’s some scary shizz right there. They come in different colors. I feel like it would grab me as soon as I turned the light out.

via Incredible Things

Hand Painted Universal Monster Ornaments

Hand Painted Universal Monster Ornaments
It’s never too early to shop for creepy ornaments for your Christmas Tree. These Hand Painted Universal Monster Ornaments will have you doing the Monster Mash. All of your favorites are here. Even the Invisible Man. Do you see him? No you don’t. He’s invisible. Merry Christmas everybody and to all a happy new year. Yay. It’s Christmas all year round here. Get you some monsters on ya tree son! I don’t care if it’s April.

Creepy Raven Skeleton

Creepy Raven Skeleton
Everyone is raven about this bony raven. Caw! caw! Cuz he’s bones. This Creepy Raven Skeleton just wants to perch somewhere in your home. No pooping all over your stuff. He promises. This guy is gonna look so cool in my creepy library. What? No, it’s not decorated scary per se, I just find fancy book learning to be creepy. Plus having a library makes me look smart. Guard my books skeleton bird and make sure that I never have the urge to learn!