Tag: home decor

Scottish Wood Imp Looking In The Mirror

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Scottish Wood Imp Looking In The Mirror
What the deuce?! This Scottish Wood Imp Looking In The Mirror is horrified by what he is seeing. I don’t blame him. I am too. He’s all flapping his imp wings and scratching the frame with his nails. He always thought he was more handsome than that. Nope. That’s why ya never show an imp a mirror. Actually you know what? I don’t think he’s scared. Check out that impish grin. I think he is trying to have sex with that handsome imp in the mirror. That explains all of the scratching and excitement. I hope he doesn’t break the mirror with his erection. That’s seven years bad luck cuz your pee pee is sore for that long. Unless he’s l-imp? Ha ha ha ha ha. And his name is Dick. Ha ha ha ha.

I should get out more.

Alien Fused Glass Night Light

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Alien Fused Glass Night Light
Cool. An Alien Fused Glass Night Light. Is it just me or does that mustache make him look like the other kind of alien? The illegal kind? What? Just asking. My plan is to use this in my bedroom, so that when the real aliens come, they’ll see this and think they are the ones getting abducted. Or maybe they’ll just think that one of them is here already and move on. If I see this go down, I’ll throw my voice from the bed and say, “You essay. I got dis. Step off!”

Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box

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Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box
I need another skull decoration around here like I need a sword in the head. But I do need a Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box with a sword in the head. Everyone come to my house. The first person to pull the sword from the skull shall be king. Oh hell, that came away really easy. Oh well. Feel free to rule over my entire kingdom. *Looks around at my filthy hovel.* Hey, where’d ya go? Fine, I’ll continue being king, but I’m going to war with all of you.

Universal Monsters Coffin Coasters

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Universal Monsters Coffin Coasters
Put some whiskey on the wolfman. These Universal Monsters Coffin Coasters will protect your furniture from your drinks. Cuz your drinks are monsters to your furniture. These coasters feature wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster and the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Put your drink on the coffin, then take off your hat and say a little prayer. May it rest in peace. Amen. Now may it rest in my belly.

Cthulhu Poison Bottles

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Cthulhu Poison Bottles
You know what you put in these Cthulhu Poison Bottles from OrionOddities? I’ll give you a hint. *Makes choking sounds with my hands on my neck and falls over.* What? No, the bottles aren’t poison. You put poison in them. Although I don’t recommend actually doing that. Poison is bad mmmokay? Stay away from the skull and crossbones people. It can only mean two bad things. Pirates and poison. Or pirates who have been poisoned. Or poison that is made by pirates. Three things actually. All bad. I’m gonna put some alcohol inside these and get drunk. It’s just booze, but I call it rubbing alcohol, cuz after a few sips I’ll be going to bed to rub one out. Did I just type that out loud? I was talking about releasing the genie who is obviously inside. Duh!
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