Tag: horror

Scary Sexy Bat Hair Bow Clip Is So Sexy

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Scary Sexy Bat Hair Bow ClipI love a girl with bats in her belfry. Crabs in her crabshack, not so much cuz you need special creams and stuff to stop the itching. But yeah, this Bat Hair Bow Clip looks sexy. Like you are a servant of some vampire. I’ll let ya bite my neck just as long as you leave a hickey, so everyone can see proof that I scored or almost scored. And that moment when you grab this bat hair bow and let it loose? Letting your hair flow down as you shake it free? Oh man. I am so turned on right now. Then the bat will fly off and we will live happily ever after. You’ll nag me about my healthy eating of course and my drinking at 5 AM, and the donuts, not to mention the fact that I just lay there scratching and farting and don’t look for a job, but I know we are going to be so happy together. That’s why I got you this ring. I love you. Was that too soon? Should I have waited?

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Dracula – Vlad The Impaler Leather Journal

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Vlad The Impaler Leather Journal
Sweet journal. This Vlad The Impaler Leather Journal is hand made with some amazing attention to detail. I made a poem about it:

Vlad The Impaler
Used an inhaler.
Asked a girl to date,
but he never got to nail her.
So can he really be known as Vlad the Impaler?
I think not.

You could write your own poems in this journal. Or draw pictures of vampires and stuff. It’s gonna be sweet. Or get this one, which is also awesome.

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Universal Monsters Horror Movie Bookmark

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Universal Monsters Horror Movie Bookmark
Never lose your page in your book again thanks to this Universal Monsters Horror Movie Bookmark. It has the Wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein and the Bride. It’s all fancy and classy since it is made of wood and bonus: If a Vampire attacks while you are reading, you can stake it in the heart with this bookmark, then go back to reading. I wouldn’t recommend reusing it after that though. Maybe just leave it there in the Vampire’s chest. It goes great with this cool journal.

Cool Ceramic Sugar Skull Shot Glasses

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Ceramic Sugar Skull Shot Glasses
Bartender, serve me up a skull of the good stuff! These Ceramic Sugar Skull Shot Glasses are awesome. I’d like to see these guys crash through a wall like the Kool-Aid man, then say something Mexican. Maybe that’s just me. One has a mustache and one doesn’t so they may be man and wife. I have no idea. Kinda wanna smash ’em together and make ’em kiss, as they shatter into a million pieces. Maybe that’s just me again. Also check out these Sugar Skull Beach Blanket.

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Creature from the Black Lagoon Saucer Plate

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Creature from the Black Lagoon Saucer Plate
Decorate with monsters, that’s what I say. This Creature from the Black Lagoon Saucer Plate will look great on your wall. I know they call him the Creature from the Black Lagoon, but I don’t see color. The lagoon could be pink for all I care. *Laughs like a rich idiot as I lift my teacup to my lips from my monster decorated saucer. Rings for the butler.* Wait. Why am I wearing a powdered wig? It’s like I’m not even in control of my own imagination. Damn.

Anyway, back to playing with my action figure.