Pack a lunch cuz you are hanging out with Freddy Krueger today. This Nightmare On Elm Street Lunch Box will not only hold your lunch, but it will make ya lose your lunch too when Freddy comes to life and crawls outta this thing, cuz you are dreaming and probably very dead soon.
All I know is Freddy best not take my ham sammich! Damnit! He did! He took my ham sammich! It’s on now Freddy! It’s onnnnn like Donkey Kong! You shoulda traded me for it Freddy! Now you die!
You ladies are going to look amazing wearing this Spider Skeleton Key Necklace. I wonder what it unlocks. Probably some treasure being protected by a giant spider queen. Nah. You know what it unlocks? My heart. Nah, not really. It unlocks a world of fashion and style cuz this necklace goes with anything girl. You gonna look sharp wearing the key to the spider kingdom. Sorry, I just gave away what it unlocks.
Dude, I love Creature From The Black Lagoon Coasters. The way you go up, up, up and get super high, then you fall so fast and the coaster goes all loop-the-loop and turns you upside down, so you puke in the face of the guy behind you and feel like you would rather be dead. Good times. Wait. Nevermind. Not those kinds of coasters. These are the kind that you set your drinks on. Much safer. I’m a daredevil when it comes to placing drinks on things. If I had these coasters, I would drink two drinks at once, so I could have a Creature double feature.
It’s official. I’m an Elder God. Check out my sweet Cthulhu Amulet Of The Elder Gods Necklace. Rub-a-dub-dub I’m in the club. Cthulhu in da house. Which is a bad idea people. I once let Cthulhu in the house and he ate all of my food and hogged the TV. I say hogged, it’s more like he shoved the TV in his mouth and ate it while I was watching Netflix. That ain’t how you binge watch dog! Then he puked. Okay, I guess that’s binge and purge watching. That’s cool, you can leave now!
I always look grim in this mirror. Don’t know why. Must be the lighting. More likely, it’s the two Grim Reapers on this Grim Reapers and Roses Framed Mirror. Damn, I thought Guns N Roses knew how to rock, but they are nothing compared to Grim Reapers and Roses. Their concerts are to die for, cuz people are dying to get in. Anywho, enjoy admiring yourself in this Gothic archway of death.
Don’t be scared though. The seasons don’t fear the Reaper. Nor do the wind, sun and the rain. So you shouldn’t either. Go ahead and knock on that mirror. Ya know why?
Cuz you’ll be knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door! Or hell maybe. Death’s door.