Leather Coffin Journal

Leather Coffin Journal
Live it up with this Leather Coffin Journal. Well, maybe not live it up. Maybe dwell on our impending deaths as we shuffle off this immortal coil. Wow, that even depressed me. Also impressed me cuz it sounded cool. Probably sounded cool as hell to everyone who didn’t see me choke on that lemon starburst and throw myself against the chair to give my self the old Heimlich maneuver.

Anywho, how do you put a bunch of dead bodies in one coffin? This journal is how. It is perfect for drawing a corpse on every page. That way you have a flip book of dead bodies all sharing one coffin. Maybe make it so it decomposes by the end.

Therefore perfect for undertakers and such. If anyone else does it it’s just weird. Yeah, I know it was my idea. Everyone knows I’m weird.
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Bloody Skeleton Hand Journal

bloody skeleton hand journalWhether you are jotting down some random thoughts, or writing the next great novel, this Bloody Skeleton Hand Journal says “Stay the hell out of my journal. The last guy to page through my journal lost a hand. He also bumped into a lit candle and dripped red wax allll over the damn thing. It was a mess. The pages are still sticking together! So just don’t! Please! Totally ruined that My Little Pony/Doctor Who fan fiction I was writing. Rainbow Dash and the Doctor had just kissed. I can’t even-”

*shudders* Write? I mean right? Keep your hand off my journal. And stop being a klutz. You almost burned the place down.

Wooden Alien Abduction Journal

alien abduction journalNeed a place to journal your experiences being captured and experimented on by alien creatures? This Wooden Alien Abduction Journal should do the trick.

Dear Diary,
They came again last night. Their soft supple hands lifting me out of bed. I resisted, but not too much. The leader had strong biceps and steely black eyes that peered through my soul. I knew I couldn’t resist. I didn’t tell him I had been waiting for this night ever since the last one, but he knew. I could tell by the way he sized me up. His gentle arms cradled me as the blue beam lifted us off the ground, stirring the edges of my nightgown. I struggled a bit more as we entered the medical bay. Just enough to make him realize I would not be tamed easily. And then the moment came as I was strapped onto the bed. His grey skin glistened with excitement as he grabbed a medical probe. Those onyx eyes challenged me. Would I face it bravely or panic and fight? Which did he want? I challenged back with a determined gaze, bit my lip and nodded for him to do his worst or his best as he saw fit….

Only $40. from Etsy.

Monster Journals: “Fear Diary…”

monster journalThese monster journals from Etsy seller ANARCHISTSPLAYGROUND are all sharp teeth and lined pages. I think the idea is to open them up, start writing and see how long it takes for those sharp teeth to close like a crocodile and leave you with a bloody stump. You just had to journal about your day didn’t you?

Fear Diary… Today I went for a nice walk and- OH DEAR GOD! BLOOD EVERYWHERE! JUST GIVE ME MY HAND BACK AND I SWEAR TO ZUCKERBERG THAT NEXT TIME I WILL JUST UPDATE MY STATUS FOR THE WORLD TO SEE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON! NO MORE JOURNALING I SWEAR! I LEARNED MY LESSON!

Click through for a fork-tongued demon with glow in the dark eyes and drool.
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Joker Crafts: Batman The Dark Knight Journal

Batman The Dark Knight JournalThis Batman: The Dark Knight Journal looks like it was made by the Joker himself. It’s so nice that Arkham Asylum provides its guests with arts and crafts projects. You can write all of your deepest darkest desires in this fun journal as well as contemplate any of life’s burning questions. Like, “Why so serious?”

And if you are crazy enough, you might open it up later to find that someone else has answered your question. In your handwriting.
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