The Naughtypus isn’t waving at you with all eight hands. Nope. He’s flipping you off. Giving you the bird. This Middle Finger Octopus Desk Accessory gives zero f@@ks. He’s basicallt the best desk accessory ever. Use it for your jewelry, your office supplies, whatever. He’ll always be there to flip you off. He’s creepbay approved.
You can try to play rock, paper scissors with him, but it’s just gonna turn into a game of “Hey, f**k you buddy”.
I can see two scenarios happening when you wear this Alien Sleep Mask. One- You wake up screaming thinking that you are being abducted, then get up and look in the mirror after pulling this mask up above your eyes, only to realize that YOU were the alien all along. That’s an M. Night Shamalamadingdong twist right there. Or two – Your wife wakes up next you, looks over at you and starts screaming. Meanwhile, the real aliens run out of the room like WTF.
Hey there my ghoulishly gregarious gargoyle guys and gals. You know what looks nice in a gothic themed bathroom? Gargoyle Soap. It gets your hands clean, but you still feel a bit dirty. These are only scary at first. Once you wash your hands enough, the scary little faces wear off and you can relax.
That’s a nice pair of The Wolfman Universal Monsters High-Waisted Panties ya got there. Just can’t tell if it’s really the wolfman or if you just need to shave. Either way, I’m good with that and ready for a sexy night. My weiner is so small you’ll think that I invited the Invisible Man, so it’s all good. Maybe we should invite the rest of the monsters and have a party. I love that they’re high waisted, cuz I’m also high wasted if ya know what I mean.
These Skull Jewel and Crystal Encrusted Wedges are crazy! No really. Those skulls look like they are insane in the membrane. Fun fact: At first I accidentally made the title, “Skull Jewel and Crystal Encrusted Wedgies”. So, just to be clear, these are not wedgies. You are safe nerds. And damn, that would hurt. A regular wedgie is bad enough, but those jewel encrusted wedgies hurt like a biatch!