Ryan McArthur has created this USA Zombie Safe Zone Map that is marked with zombie safe zones that are abundant in the resources you’ll need while on the run. Thanks Ryan. I gotta stay alive during the apocalypse, so I can drive all the Mad Max cars and have a sweet-ass mohawk. This will also help me to find all of the other people who bought this map, so I can steal supplies from them. Awesome.
Tag: novelty
Cosmo Sock Alien Plush
Awww. Look how cute the Cosmo Sock Alien Plush is. So adorable. Look at those hearts on their bodies. Hearts mean love. So when they forage around your fecal fortress with their special probes, they’re just loving on you. Hmmm. I guess that applies to some humans too. Don’t be fooled by these cute plushies. Aliens are dangerous! Never forget! I don’t even wear clean underwear anymore or wipe myself, cuz if they come for me, they’re gonna find a nasty surprise! Surprise alien mofos! Either clean me up or toss me back! Preferably both.
12 Ron English Cereal Killers Mini-Figures Set
One word, four syllables. DI-A-BEET-US. American cereals will kill ya, what with all of that new-fangled die-fructose and all. These cereals are Cereal Killers, with killer mascots. So while they’ll put ya in the hospital, at least ya have something to collect with this 12 Ron English Cereal Killers Mini-Figures Set.
This series includes:
1x Cap’n Cornstarch
1x Sugar Frosted Fat
1x Yucky Children Charmer
1x Sugar Smack
1x Franken Fat
1x Count Calorie
1x Tricks
1x Froot Looped
1x Obesie O’s
1x Coco Puffed Paunch
1x Sugar Diabetic Bear
1x Qhrist
The obesity is strong with these toys.
Well Read Taxidermy Toilet Mouse
Just what I always wanted to display on my mantle. A mouse taking a dump. This Taxidermy Toilet Mouse is on the john, reading about Godzilla attacking. Probably taking himself a massive Godzilla cuz he had Mexican food earlier. He’s got himself a fresh roll of TP nearby, so at least he’s not gonna run out if he has the Hershey squirts. It would be nice if the mice around my house would use the damn toilet and stop leaving their tiny turds everywhere.
Cheeto Alien In A Tub Figurine With Glowing Water
So that happened. Now you know what it looks like when an alien takes a relaxing bath. It looks like this may be the elusive Cheeto species of alien, so I’m surprised he didn’t dissolve in the water. Anyway, now you can own your very own Alien In A Tub Figurine. The water even glows under a black light. I’m glad his Cheeto alien privates are underwater. I don’t need to be seeing an alien Cheeto d**k! Hmmm. Maybe that’s what a bag of Cheetos is: just a big bag of alien d**ks! Let that sink in.