Tag: odd

Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted
This is a cell phone video from China that supposedly shows a mysterious creature briefly emerging from a lake while a bunch of onlookers panic and make noise. The footage was filmed at a lake in China’s Louping County, and shows a dark object causing ripples on the surface of the water. Then another part of the creature suddenly pops up out of the lake and witnesses can be heard gasping and shouting some more.

Let’s see, we have bubbling and ripples on the water. My research suggests that this is yet another case of the “Nessie farting” phenomenon. No wonder the witnesses are freaking out. Nessie farts reak. Nessie rips some farts and the bubbles rise, rippling the water when they hit the surface. Sometimes you lose control and poop hits the surface. Don’t believe me? Get in the bathtub and let one rip. I just tested my theory a minute ago. In fact I’m still in the tub. Just did it again. Hang on, gotta plug my laptop in again. Rips a huge one. Hey, look at me, I’m Nessie.

*Creates a wave that hits my laptop and electrocutes me for like ten minutes. We’ll talk later when I get out of my coma.*
Read more “Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted”

Creepy Red and Blue Skull Mason Jar Mugs

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skull Mason Jar Mugs
These Skull Mason Jar Mugs are awesome. You get a red and a blue one with a straw. You can use whichever one feels right. Today is a blue skull kind of day, so I’m using the blue skull mug, tomorrow is a red skull kind of day. After that? well, admittedly I’m screwed after that cuz they only give you the two colors. Which look badass by the way. I think I’m gonna need some ice cubes that look like eyeballs. That is gonna look so awesome.

Laura Palmer In Coffin Doll

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Laura Palmer In Coffin Doll
What the Lynch!!!! I don’t remember Laura Palmer looking like that. I remember an all-American girl. This looks like an all-American ghoul. This Laura Palmer In Coffin Doll comes with some little accessories like a Jumping man toy, and a picture of Laura, which may be a diary. I guess I have to buy it cuz she did say that I would see her again in 25 years. The jumping man really creeps me out with his long nose and jumping skills. Anyone else hungry for some creamed corn?

Day of the Dead Sugar Skull Flower Hair Clip

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Day of the Dead Sugar Skull Flower Hair Clip
Etsy seller SugarySkullsBoutique sells this cool Day of the Dead Sugar Skull Flower Hair Clip. They have several styles and are pretty adorable. They are gonna look sexy in your hair sistah! They remind me of that time I picked some mushrooms and saw skulls in flowers everywhere. Which is odd, because I was in a grocery store, not a garden. Also odd, because the mushrooms in the vegetable aisle should not make you trip. The Nyquil I had taken in the car should have made me trip. Weird huh?
Read more “Day of the Dead Sugar Skull Flower Hair Clip”

Zombie Skeleton Dance Costume

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Zombie Skeleton Dance Costume
I can see this Zombie Skeleton Dance Costume doing a number on the pole at some redneck bar after the town has been infected with a virus. And I have to say she has all the right moves. Nice veins. Really gets that heart pumping. Her heart, not mine. I don’t have a thing for zombie strippers. Then why’d you throw all those ones at her and request a lap dance? A. That was Monopoly money and B. They keep it really cold in here cuz the customers and the staff are all dead. Just trying to warm my lap with a cold zombie. Makes perfect sense.