Universal Monster Postcards

Universal Monster Postcards
Send some monster mail with these Universal Monster Postcards. Cuz you know, monsters are universal. No, really. They are everywhere in the universe. Like Jesus. Even on Mars. I’ve seen the mummies on Mars and let me tell you, they don’t stop until you are dead. Never saw the Invisible Man though. Duh.

Anyway, these postcards are pretty cute representations of the Universal Monsters. All eight are here. Each card is full color and shows these horror icons in humorous scenes. Do you even snail mail bro?

Do the monster mash while sending some monster mail.

Marilyn Manson Inspired Lipstick Set

Marilyn Manson Inspired Lipstick Set
At last you can have the lips of Marilyn Manson without having to rip them off him and paste them onto your own. You know that’s wrong don’t you? Glad we had this talk. Don’t do that!

These are some scary-ass goth lips right here. Chomping down of the actual lipstick with your teeth is apparently required if you wanna rock these colors. I don’t like that “Hollywood” color. Makes it look like you’ve been kissing somebody’s butt and guess what? They didn’t wipe. Well they did, it was just on your lips. Probably that color because everyone kisses ass in Hollywood. I would choose Mansinthe because I personally like my lips to look like an irradiated lime. But that’s just me.

Vincent Van Gogh Plush Doll With Removable Ear

Vincent Van Gogh Plush Doll With Removable Ear
Give yourself the gift of Van Gogh, one of history’s greatest painters. Then give the one you love Van Gogh’s ear. Just like Van Gogh did. Thanks to this Vincent Van Gogh Plush Doll With Removable Ear. You don’t have to be stark raving mad to cut off your ear and send it to the woman you love. But it helps.

Say what you want about Vincent. He would always lend you his ear. Can you “ear” me Vincent? Oh that’s your bad side. Sorry. Oh well, you know what they say. Ear today, gone tomorrow. Vincent Van Gogh? More like Vincent Van Gone Deaf on one side.

Man, I hope that chick at least gave him a little something for cutting his damn ear off. If not, that’s just cold.

via Ohgizmo

Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet

Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet
This Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet is so cool that it not only calls Cthulhu, it calls Cthulhu and sets up and date, then bangs Cthulhu and leaves in the morning, tucking some cab fair under his tentacles. So yeah, it’s a pretty cool wallet that isn’t messing around. The front features an awesome illustration, while the back side features a famous quote from the story: That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die. This wallet makes an awesome gift.

I’ll expect it gift wrapped though. And throw me a surprise party and invite all of my friends. Aw, you shouldn’t have. *whispers* Yes you should have. Where’s the ice cream and party hats?

Haunted English Bible

Haunted English Bible
Is this Haunted English Bible really haunted? Put your hand on the bible and swear it! The seller of this bible claims that among other incidents, “The last time she was attacked, she was pulled by her hair and dragged down the stairs getting bruises all over her body,”

Okay so it sounds like they are dealing with the ghost of a horny caveman. The pulling by the hair is a dead giveaway. He was trying to pull her into his ghost cave and do some prehistoric porkin’. Some Neanderthal nasty. Some good old fashioned Flintstones f***ing! Naturally he would show her his cave paintings after. That’s only gentlemanly. How his spirit got attached to an English bible, I have no idea. Anyway, haunting solved!
Read more “Haunted English Bible”