Check out these Charlotte’s Web Talisman Necklaces With Real Spider Webs. That’s how you get creepy and nasty insects to work for you. Although I asked for my name to be spelled out like three times already and it still looks like a kindergartner with a caffeine addiction. Hell, I could have done that myself and I don’t spin webs out of my butt, but I do wrap up my food in little saran-wrap cocoons super fast using just my front legs. Hey, I dig freshness. That pot roast I cooked last night is fresh as funky beats. It’s gonna stay that way!
Tag: odd
Gold Ouija Board Leggings
I wanna slide my planchette all over these Gold Ouija Board Leggings and that’s not just me talkin’ dirty. So go ahead and Ouija yourself! I just wee-jad a little myself. Weak bladder. Really, it’s like a dripping faucet bought from the thrift store at this point. When I was young, that shizz was like I bought it at Home Depot. TMI.
Baby I would love to give you a sweet leg massage while communicating with the other side, so seriously, roll over, let me see what I’m working with here. What? No you look awesome honey. I don’t see any Ouija-toe or nothing.
Blue Tentacle Plant: Plush Potted Tentacles
You don’t need a green thumb or even a sliver of Cthulhu’s DNA to grow a potted tentacle. Just display this Blue Tentacle Plant in your home. It’s that easy. Pfft! Tentacles are for suckers! Get it?
I’m gonna get several and give them all instruments. I’m calling it the Blue Tentacle Group. Man I wish I knew how to garden. I always thought “potted” plants were just plants inhaling pot smoke. This one looks like it took some LSD.
Gotta go and practice with the band. Laterz.
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Zombie Cake Pops: Disgustingly Delicious
These Zombie Cake Pops make a nice change. For once I will be taking a bite out of a zombie, instead of a zombie trying to take a bite out of me. I’ll get your brains how do you like that? Fun fact: I thought Cake Pop was some weird Japanese pop music that I had never heard of because I never know about the cool stuff. Nope. They really are little cakes. That you can pop in your mouth! Here I come zombies. Your heads are mine.
These Shoes Look Like Donald Trump’s Combover
Few things in this life are as powerful and hefty as Donald Trump’s combover. Whether you are a Trump supporter or detractor, you can now own a pair of shoes that are seemingly inspired by The Donald’s hair. Gucci’s new Princetown Goat-Hair Mules are just… WTF. I don’t even know what to say about them. They cost $1,800, but if you are the kind of person wearing these, your therapist will cost a lot more. How did I know you had a therapist? Well, if you like these shoes, you need one. That’s for sure. It looks like you stepped on a pair of tribbles.
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