This is the kind of bling I’m looking for. A Miniature Gold Toilet With Opening Lid Necklace. I bet it even has a little diamond poop inside too. I always wanted a gold toilet, so I could show it to all the peeps on MTV cribs when they come to check out my sweet Hollywood mansion. Obviously that never happened, but at least I can wear this cool gold commode and pretend.
Toilet bling. That’s what I’m talking about. Now do I put the picture of a loved one inside the lid or someone I hate?
Phrenology is the study of… Yeah, I’m at a loss. It’s your personality based on the shape of your head or something. I have no idea. What is a Phren anyway? A phren is a phren, right till the end. Put her there phren. I’ll see you later. I have to go consult a head about my life. I think it might be a map to buried treasure that aliens implanted in my brain. Plus, I’m gonna get this vintage phrenology head just cuz it looks cool.
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This Wine Coffin Display lets you display your wine in style. Break this baby open and drink up. Pretty soon you will be seeing the dead. Would you like some wine? But of corpse! The seller also says that you can display a doll inside, but a doll never got you blind stinking drunk, so I’ll go with the wine. Gonna drink until I’m embalmed with sweet wine and when I’m gone you can bury my liver in this coffin. It worked hard to get me where I am after all.
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These Scary Laser Cut Necklaces from CuriologyLtd are so spooky and scary. They will turn your neck into a haunted scene that will turn heads a full 360 degrees like in The Exorcist. But don’t worry, they won’t spit green pea soup at you as they are admiring your necklace. These scenic necklaces are all laser cut. Not phaser cut. Laser cut. Phasers don’t cut well enough, cuz it’s just a phase, but lasers? Lasers will cut you and blind you and kill space aliens. They probably cut these with a friggin’ ray-gun. Pew pew pew! Look what I created!
They have black magic cats, spiders, all kinds of creepy neck wear.
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I was just saying the other day that every Brian I meet turns out to be a real turd. I’m sure their not all bad, but man, I’ve met a lot of turds named Brian. Here’s another. Brian The Giant Turd Stuffed Doll. He’s ready to be displayed in your home so he can turd up your place. Hopefully they deliver him on time and he’s not turdy. I mean tardy. I’m not sure what his maker ate, but it looks like he’s got some green shading there. Also very puffy eyes. I guess it’s tiring being a turd. Or maybe he’s just sad he came in turd place in a contest.
Also, how do you get a turd that’s segmented in that way? I’m guessing you push, squeeze and push squeeze. I have no idea. And who would have thought that a turd could have such full lips? It’s from kissin’ butt on the way out. He’s a little brown noser. That’s probably why somebody gave him that shiner on his eye.
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