Tag: scary

Anatomic Anna and Andy Anatomy Dolls

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Anatomic Anna and Andy Anatomy Dolls
Imagine their surprise when you give little Johnny and Judy this set of dolls for Christmas. Cuz every kid wants to start playing with their dolls only watch their guts fall out. Meet the Anatomic Anna and Andy Anatomy Dolls. The king and queen of the creepy doll world. They are designed to help kids learn, but the only thing your kids will learn is that these dolls are f**king gross. They come with clothes and all kinds of accessories. And by accessories, I mean organs like the liver, spleen, heart, kidney and other gooey innards.

I mean, if you are raising your kid to be a coroner, I guess they have to start somewhere. Funding for this Kickstarter was unsuccessful. I can’t imagine why.

Werewolf Coloring Book

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Werewolf Coloring Book
Do you love Werewolves? Then this Werewolf coloring book may be just the thing for you. I had an encounter with one the other night. I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vics. His hair was perfect. The book has 16 unique coloring pictures, along with some fun werewolf facts. If you love werewolves, you’re gonna love coloring this book. Don’t color under a full moon. Just don’t.

UFO with Tractor Beam Lamp

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UFO with Tractor Beam Lamp
If you still need a night light to sleep, this may just be the right light for you. It’s actually pretty cool, as far as night lights go. Well, until you suffer PTSD from repeated alien abduction attempts. The UFO with Tractor Beam Lamp includes a multi-color tractor beam and the UFO disc comes in grey but can be customized to any color. It comes with a remote control, so you can turn it on and change the color of the light from across the room. I WANT TO BELIEVE.

Undead Mad Libs

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Undead Mad Libs
Mad libs? Why are they mad? Did the conservatives win something again? I kid. I kid. We don’t get political here. We just get kinda crazy. The kind of crazy where you wake up and find toilet paper all over the house and a chicken carcass all over the floor, then you notice a Cthulhu themed blow up doll on the chandelier. But enough about last night. Mad libs are awesome. I’m mad about ’em. Even crazy for ’em. You know what’s better than them angry libs? Undead Mad Libs! Boom. Undead makes everything better. Except for your skin. This set features 21 hilarious fill-in-the-blank stories about the paranormal. It has stories like “Confessions of a Vampire’s Girlfriend,” “How to Survive a Zombie Attack,” and more. Oh yeah. I am going to be filling in some blanks tonight baby! Where’s my pencil?

Maggot Baby Necklace

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Maggot Baby NecklaceThis Maggot Baby Necklace is a terrifying accessory. He just hangs there looking gross and even has like a stone third eye so it can hypnotize you with a disturbing lullaby, then crawl all over you leaving a slimy trail in its wake. I’ll take two. I wrote a poem about it.

Tag it, bag it,
Hurry up and snag it.

I just bought a maggot.

Better than Bob Saget.

Austin Powers wanna shag it.

Thank you. Thank you. My 3rd-grade education is really paying off.