Tag: scary

Gothic Coffin Butter Dish

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Coffin Butter Dish

They say that too much butter will kill ya. I say that toast just tastes like crisp bread unless you slather it with butter. This Gothic Coffin Butter Dish is a reminder that our time on this plain is limited. And a cool place to store that ooey gooey buttery goodness. It’s really the only choice for anyone who loves Gothic decor and loves them some butter.

I feel like you should shape your butter into a little corpse though and put him to rest in this Gothic Coffin Butter Dish. But I’m a perfectionist. I would call him Butters and mourn him over breakfast daily. This Skull Butter Dish is also a great choice.

3D Alien Heads

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

3D Alien Heads

If you are looking for some framed art for your walls, you can’t do better than these out there 3D Alien Heads. You’ve heard the reports of them walking through walls before they abduct some innocent guy as they are just minding their own business doing the old five knuckle shuffle in bed. Well, this is what they look like as they come through your wall. Pretty scary stuff. Not only do you get caught yanking and cranking, but now you are abducted too. They have no shame.

I need some damn Alien Beer if I’m gonna go through another long drawn out abduction. Why do you keep picking me? You brought the lube this time right? Thank God for small miracles.

Blood Vial Pendant Kit

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Blood Vial Pendant Kit

So this Blood Vial Pendant Kit is bloody cool and bloody stylish. As the seller says, Blood has been used for magical purposes for hundreds of years and has been know to represent life force in its most basic nature. Apparently I’ve been doing it all wrong. I’ve been trying to use my band aids for magical purposes. It just ain’t working. You get one complete kit to craft one blood vial pendant necklace. You can use your own blood, or a lover, or some Kool-Aid if you want. That’s also what the seller said. But I added the Kool-Aid part. I’m not judging.

Personally, I’d combine this with the Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker.

Crows & Roses Flowerpots

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Crows & Roses Flowerpots

Whether you need a flowerpot for indoor or outdoor plants, these Crows & Roses Flowerpots are an awesome choice. It depicts a crow sitting on a skull surrounded by red roses. This is something for gardeners to crow about. I wish you could growing Croses, which would be a black rose that looks like crow feathers. Sadly that doesn’t exist. But everything is going to look good in these Crows & Roses Flowerpots.

I’m going to use this near my Moth Man Plant Pot cuz he needs some company.

Witches of Legend Tarot Card Deck

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Witches of Legend Tarot Card Deck

I’m questioning the authenticity of this Witches of Legend Tarot Card Deck, because my ex wives are nowhere to be seen. Neither is Samantha from Bewitched, but then again those are the only witches I’m familiar with. Well, those and the Witches of Eastwick. Oh yeah, those chicks from Charmed. How could I forget that trio. Anyway, this cool Witches of Legend Tarot Card Deck features legendary witches and goddesses like Circe, Brigid, Hekate, Diana, Athena and more. This deck has some amazing artwork. Who wants to give me a reading?

Funny story. I call my neighbor the wicked witch of the west because she’s west of me. EAST SIDE! EAST SIDE! *gang signs* I didn’t touch your damn roses lady. I haven’t had a reading since I bought this Santa Muerte Book Of The Dead Tarot Card Deck, which also has some amazing art. In that reading the cards told me that I was about to meet a handsome stranger and I would instantly fall in love. I didn’t believe it, but as soon as got up from the table, I caught a glimpse in the mirror and it was love at first sight. Dreams really do come true.