This Skulls Belt Buckle is pretty appropriate for me to have over my junk cuz it’s like a graveyard down there if ya know what I mean. I get less action than there is on bingo night at an old folks home. It’s all good though… No, it’s not. Dear God, I’m so lonely. I just need some love. Why doesn’t anyone love me? Oh yeah, it’s probably cuz I post weird stuff on the internet every day and chicks just don’t understand. Maybe this belt buckle can turn my game around. Getting rid of the suspenders and bow tie would be a good next step too.
Tag: scary
Santa Muerte Book Of The Dead Tarot Card Deck
Santa Muerte? Is that like Santa Claus? Do I get presents? Do I have to wear a tacky sweater? Nah. This Santa Muerte Book Of The Dead Tarot Card Deck is a powerful tool for working with the mysticism associated with the Day of the Dead and Santa Muerte. Deal me in and give me a reading. *Throws poker chips on the table* I call. What do you mean I can’t call? Fine, I’ll bluff instead. No? Fine, I fold.
Double Caffeine Zombie Joe Z Bold Coffee
Damn son! Why is that zombie running after me instead of slowly shambling and letting me get away? That’s because the zombies got their hands on a batch of Double Caffeine Zombie Joe Z Bold Coffee. And so can you! If it gets zombies going all day long, it will get you going in the morning too. Zombie Joe! It makes life interesting! *Runs away from zombies at full speed.*
Cheeto Alien In A Tub Figurine With Glowing Water
So that happened. Now you know what it looks like when an alien takes a relaxing bath. It looks like this may be the elusive Cheeto species of alien, so I’m surprised he didn’t dissolve in the water. Anyway, now you can own your very own Alien In A Tub Figurine. The water even glows under a black light. I’m glad his Cheeto alien privates are underwater. I don’t need to be seeing an alien Cheeto d**k! Hmmm. Maybe that’s what a bag of Cheetos is: just a big bag of alien d**ks! Let that sink in.
Frightening Monster TV Lamps
A “TV Lamp” is a lamp based on the 1950’s art objects which people would place on top their TV sets as decor. Well, check out these cool Frightening Monster TV Lamps. There are several different aliens and monsters available from the MooreMonsters shop. I’m gonna put one on my razor thin HDTV. Oops, it fell. That’s okay. You can display these anywhere and they will look awesome and scary. I think I might have to collect them all.