This Vampire Bat Sculptural Box will make ya squee like a little bat. But if it makes you flap your wings and fly around the room, you’ve gone too far. This bat will hold all of your little trinkets and baubles and do-dads. Not sure if it will hold your whatchamacallits. It’s bat-tastic. It’s batting a thousand. It’s bat-s**t crazy. Swing batter batter. Time to batton down the hatches. Quick, to the bat cave robin! Wait, was that the phone? Nah, you just heard my batarang! And with that, I’m off to adjust my meds.
Tag: sculptural
Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp
Damn, this gargoyle is all like, “Waz up? I have arrived and I’m about to move my wings like a trench coat and flash you.” Enjoy the ethereal light that seems to emminate from his ghostly gargoyle crotch. This Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp is half evil, half… I don’t know what. I just know I don’t want to see his demon weenie, but he seems to be threatening to show it. Is that a light in your loafers or are you just happy to see me? Both? Cool. This lamp will cast some neat light onto your wall, I just hope it doesn’t cast a shadow shaped like his demonic junk.
Gargamel the gargoyle got gassy and gargled garlic in the great gazebo with Gonzo the ghost guest. I just had to type that. No reason. Glad I got that out of my system. Now my brain will have room for other more important stuff. Despite his glowing nether regions on this lamp, it’s a pretty cool piece of interior frighting. You guy readers should get one. Because every Gar-boy needs a Gar-goyle! I totally nailed that one! Usually I just staple gun it. Or even thumb tack it.
Skull and Bones Sculptural Candlesticks
These candlesticks are nothing but skull and bones. Somebody feed it! Oh wait, that’s skin and bones. No skin here. I know because I was all like, “Give me five. Slip me some skin!” and then I noticed it had no skin. Then I noticed I was talking to an inanimate object. Then I took my meds and had sleepy-nappy time. The skulls on these Skull and Bones Sculptural Candlesticks look downright angry. Imma make ’em face each other in a badass candlelight grumpy stare-off.
Dragon Flower Pot Is Perfect For Snap Dragons
This Dragon flower pot is perfect for Snap Dragons. You know, those flowers that look like dragon heads, that you can play with and move it’s jaws open and shut. I only reason I know what they are is because I got in trouble for “relieving myself” in the neighbor’s garden. Seems I “Burnt” Mrs. Everitt’s prize Snap Dragons with my “devil’s urine”. I remember it well…
*Swirling graphics, turning into a distorted haze*
“Look at what you’ve done. You idiot! You imbecile! Nothing but a shriveled mess! It’s as if the Earth were salted and a swarm of locusts hit these plants. Clearly you have the devil in you!”
“In my pee? It does sometimes burn… Now, now. Let’s not be unkind. The shriveling is because I just got out of the shower. I can assure you that shrinkage is quite normal. A woman of your considerable age should understand-”
“You idiot! The flowers! All shriveled and and burnt!”
“It’s not like I peed in your garden.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I’m not a friggin’ animal. We only have one bathroom and the wife locked me out. So I peed in an empty monster drink can, like ya do, and just tossed it into your garden. I think you owe me an apology Mrs. Everitt. No worries. Oh, I noticed that your Petunias have a similar problem. Glad to be of help.”
Weird Face Candles
These weird face candles are freaking me out. They aren’t even face candles. They lack full faces. One is just a mouth that looks like the guy is grimacing after seeing something scary. The other is just a pair of ears. They all look pretty freaky all stacked up in a pyramid as seen in the pic below. They probably look extra weird when half melted.
I only use candles when the a storm knocks the power out. No way I’m using these. Thanks for the nightmares. I think I’ll sit in the dark instead.
Read more “Weird Face Candles”