I don’t know about you, but I’m always losing my skull planters when it gets dark. You can’t find ’em cuz you can’t see ’em. Then you trip over it and break it in a thousand pieces. Well, this Glow-in-the-Dark Skull Flower Pot will always be visible and very very scary! Seriously, I’m shivering right now. But that may just be because I didn’t pay the heating bill. Not because I’m kicking heroine. Although I do kick heroine. Right to the curb. Say no to drugs peeps. Also say no to drugged peeps cuz that’s a serious danger at Easter parties. Just passing that tip along.
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Tag: flower pot
Bunny Butts In A Flower Pot
Give the gift of Bunny Butts In A Flower Pot this Valentine’s Day or Easter. Because there’s nothing quite like being mooned by nature’s carrot eaters. Reminds me of that time I fell in and got stuck in the garbage can cuz the wife threw out a Reeses cup. On one hand, it was like being in a dark mine shaft upside down. On the up side, the wife had also thrown out a box of twinkies so… I had provisions.
Thank God for the fire department who used a dremmel to cut the garbage can in half. But not before using my exposed plumbers crack as a tool tray. “YO, that screwdriver is cold!” The other half of the garbage can was stuck to my gut for like a week until I lost weight. Kids called me “Fatty the Scottish Knight”. You know, cuz of my metal kilt and all. Kids can be so cruel.
Dragon Flower Pot Is Perfect For Snap Dragons
This Dragon flower pot is perfect for Snap Dragons. You know, those flowers that look like dragon heads, that you can play with and move it’s jaws open and shut. I only reason I know what they are is because I got in trouble for “relieving myself” in the neighbor’s garden. Seems I “Burnt” Mrs. Everitt’s prize Snap Dragons with my “devil’s urine”. I remember it well…
*Swirling graphics, turning into a distorted haze*
“Look at what you’ve done. You idiot! You imbecile! Nothing but a shriveled mess! It’s as if the Earth were salted and a swarm of locusts hit these plants. Clearly you have the devil in you!”
“In my pee? It does sometimes burn… Now, now. Let’s not be unkind. The shriveling is because I just got out of the shower. I can assure you that shrinkage is quite normal. A woman of your considerable age should understand-”
“You idiot! The flowers! All shriveled and and burnt!”
“It’s not like I peed in your garden.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I’m not a friggin’ animal. We only have one bathroom and the wife locked me out. So I peed in an empty monster drink can, like ya do, and just tossed it into your garden. I think you owe me an apology Mrs. Everitt. No worries. Oh, I noticed that your Petunias have a similar problem. Glad to be of help.”
Frankenstein Flowerpots
It’s alive! It’s alive with flowers! This Frankenstein Flowerpot is pretty much what it would look like if the villagers with torches and pitchforks buried Franky in the ground up to his neck. Naturally they hollowed out his skull and used it as a flowerpot, because that’s what you do when a freakish monster shows up in your village.
Or you can do like my wife did. Take one for the village and marry the monster. Feed it tasteless gruel. And when it asks for sex, ignore it and sneer. Soon it will lose the will to live. *sighs* Such is marriage. I-Am-Not-A-Monster!