These Creature Eyes Lollipops are scary delicious. I see an eye of newt, an eye of Sauron, an eye of the tiger(Gotta work hard to suck that one all the way down. Bonus joke: That’s what she said!) and an eye of horus.
All in favor say eye. *Slams eye lollipop gavel down hard.* The eyes have it. This meeting is adjourned. No wonder we never get anything done.
Read more “Creature Eyes Lollipops”
Not enough evil clowns in your life? Decorate your home with these Evil Clown String Lights. Can you hear them laughing? Stop laughing at me! Stop! *Covers ears.* Why do you torment me? Why? What happened to your front tooth? Leave me alone! *Falls to knees and starts crying. Microwave dings!*
Oh….Hot Pockets. Check you later psycho telepathic clowns! Nom nom nom.
Read more “Evil Clown String Lights”
Hey skull dish, I’m gonna put candy in your brain hole and let people pick your brain. I just think it will be weird. Gotta keep my reputation as the local weirdo after all, or as the local police like to refer to me. “Code 71. Named for the year of my birth. Which I may be lying about just to throw you all off. I may be 60 years old. Then again I may be 22. Blog stars need privacy is all I’m sayin’.
*Screech. Crackle.* All units be advised. We have a code 71 in progress. Now the damn fool is making dogs eat from some kind of fake skull in the park, which is attached to his shirt making it look like he has a skull head. It is making old people vomit. Use of deadly force is authorized. Please use deadly force.
Nanananananana Bat Packkkkk! Every day is free bat-hug day with this batpack. It’s a cross between a stuffed animal, a backpack and a shawl. It has a large pocket and in the lining is a secret pocket. It puts a bat all up in your belfry.
This shizz bat-poop crazy! You’ll always be winging it with this accessory.
Read more “The BatPack”
Can you give me a hand and pass the soap? Uh, that’s not what i meant by hand soap but whatever. It will feel good to have a bony hand caressing my body as I bathe. I’m trying to picture Milo Kunis in the shower with me, but that bony hand rubbing my butt feels more like the withered hand of Betty White. Not saying I’m not into it, just saying it’s weird.
Easy there Betty, you’re gonna get me all lathered up!