When there’s something strange, around your neck, who ya gonna call? GHOST CHOKER! I ain’t fraid of no ghost! I’m totally lying. I WASN’T afraid, but now I’m scared of a chorus line of ghosts crushing my windpipe as they dance and kick their tails up.
Nah, I’m kidding. This choker is spook-tacular. Even supernatural. Ectoplastic! I’m not just saying that because my neck is on the line.
Hey ladies! Carry all of your lady stuff in this Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse. *Removing my arms from my shirt sleeves and putting them into my shirt. Flapping away like crazy and making bat noises as I try to escape.* Just call me Bat-Dini! Who? No not Houdini. And not Who-dini either. That’s an owl thing I do when I’m bored in bed.
Anyway, this awesome bat purse is awesome. Flappin’ awesome. Like wing flappin’ and teeth sinking into your neck awesome. Make sure you carry it upside down during the day, cuz it needs sleep.
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This is…Spinal Tape! Now you can give your packages and other taped items some backbone. Also, I can tape this to the back of my shirt whenever my wife says, “Grow a backbone!” Ha. I have one now.
Now you can stick a spine anywhere. I’m gonna stick it all over my house so it looks like it is made of bones, paint it so it glows, then turn out all of the lights and watch the magic happen.
Damn! This Crazy Alien Skull Statue is freaking me out. This would be a kick-butt home to the world’s most badass hermit crab. Can you imagine a crab walking up to you wearing this thing as a house? That is some end times apocalypse stuff right there.
With or without a crab, this thing will look awesome on your desk. Cuz you know, freaky alien skull.
Fun fact: Like the hermit crab, my hips can anchor in my doorway, but I’m just not strong enough to carry the house yet.
It’s alive! Alive! I don’t know about you, but I could never be a mad scientist and re-animate dead corpses. Like Ronnie James Dio, when I see lightning, it always brings me down. But it’s fun to pretend that you are creating a monster. Unlike my parents who skipped pretending and went straight for the horror.
Anywho, with every flick of this 3D Printed Frankenstein Light Switch Plate, you will feel like a God creating life. Or you know, at least a God turning the light on in the crapper.