This Skeleton Jacket is perfect if you are in a skeleton gang. My gang name is Bonez Inc. Straight outta calcium. Word! My crew runs wild. You’ll know it’s us cuz of them bones on the outside. Upper east side son! Skeletons for life! Gonna bone your wife!
Tag: unique
The Jersey Devil Statue
I saw the Jersey Devil once and I never dated that high-haired, aqua-net infused, devourer of pasta and overly bronzed chick again. Thanks tinder. Thanks a whole lot. Gotta try another dating app. I hear good things about grinder, but I don’t know much about this tech stuff. I’m just a monkey typing away at the keys here, occasionally playing with my banana. Anyway, this The Jersey Devil Statue doesn’t come in bronze. Thank God!
It does come in red and- Oh hell, is that bronze? She didn’t see me. I don’t think she saw me. I blocked my face with my iPad. I think we’re good. That was close. Probably headed for a never ending pasta bowl somewhere. I’m outta here before she sees me.
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The Babadook Horror Movie Doll
What the heck is that thing? It just creeped right out of my closet and peeked at me, then went back in. I think it might have been The Babadook Horror Movie Doll.
I’m too scared to look
It must be the Babadook
Who’s responsible for that overdue book?
It must be the Babadook
The Babadook
He ain’t no crook
Can’t clean your house
Can’t even cook.
First name’s Baba
Second names Dook
I don’t care,
Cuz I’m too scared to look.
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Weird and Wild Skull Crystal Pendants
Etsy seller floridxfauna is crazy about skulls. They are also coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs and likely have Pac-Man fever, but that’s beside the point. Check out these Skull Crystal Pendants. They make me feel like an archaeologist, except I didn’t have to dig all day to find one, only to discover that the damn thing has magic occult powers that the Nazis want. I hate Nazis!
Fun fact: You know how kids get words wrong? Yeah, I was the kid who shook my dice cup and screamed, “Nazi!” For some reason that was the last game of Yahtzee ever played in my house.
Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside
This Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside makes for a real relaxing bath. Unless I’m in the house with you. In which case, I’ll be busting in the bathroom yelling, “Bombs away!” as I toss a couple in your water, splashing it everywhere.
They’re bombs! What did you expect? Bath bombs! Meaning bombs for your bath! They don’t work unless somebody is tossing them like a grenade. By the way, these grenades have a brain inside, so you will be left bathing in brains. Were as I bathe with beauty. That’s why we’re such a good couple.