Tag: werewolf

Fishermen Find Dead Werewolf In River

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Fishermen Find Dead Werewolf In River
The story goes that two fishermen were out fishing when they discovered a werewolf corpse, lying in the shallow water. Here’s what I think happened:

I think there were 3 fishermen. One went to the edge of the woods to take a dump cuz that’s what you do, and you stay on the edge of the woods cuz the woods is scary. So he dropped his pants and so he wouldn’t get killed by a strange beast, took a dump facing the forest. One of the other 2 fishermen, unbeknownst to all, was a werewolf. This guy happened to look over at his friend who was making like a hershey factory, saw his full moon and transformed into a werewolf. A werewolf who was so distraught at seeing such a hairy ass in such an act, committed suicide right there by drowning.

Now isn’t that far more likely?

via Freaklore

Werewolf 3D LED Lamp Has Big Teeth

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Werewolf 3D LED Lamp
You don’t have to wait for a full moon to see a werewolf anymore. You can have one that looks like a hologram thanks to this sweet Werewolf 3D LED Lamp. Perfect for the home or office that is lacking in scary werewolf jaws and teeth. Sadly, that is most homes and offices in the world. You can change the color or even have it cycle through different colors. This thing looks vicious.

Werewolf Transformation Art Print

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Werewolf Transformation Art Print
This Werewolf Transformation Art Print teaches you all about Werewolf transformations, the phases of the moon that affect them, their physiology, and more. It is basically a handy chart to hang on your wall. So the next time you are looking out the window and see some vagrant bent over one of your bushes in your front yard, you can consult this print to learn whether the dude is just popping a squat or turning into a hairy beast. Comes in handy like that.

Full Moon Panties

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Full Moon Panties
Full Moon Panties? Those aren’t full moon panties. Full moon panties are no panties at all. Just your ass painted by the light of the full moon. I would have called these the Wolf of Ball Street. What? They’re for women? Are you sure? Cuz I’m pretty sure I can make that wolf tongue move and appear to lick itself. No takers?

Vampire And Werewolf Repelling Soaps May Save Your Life

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Vampire And Werewolf Repelling Soaps
Do I need Vampire And Werewolf Repelling Soaps? Nah. I don’t need to repel vampires or werewolves with soap. I’m more like a werewolf who is repelled by soap itself. Whhhhhew! Things are getting rank around here. Anyway, these soaps are what you need to keep bloodsuckers and hairy beasts away. Each 3oz bar of anti-werewolf soap contains colloidal silver, holy water and rosemary. The vampire one has garlic and holy water in it. Just like garlic bread made fresh from the vatican!

via Geekologie