Everybody hide and cover your rectums! It’s the mothership! Oh wait- Nevermind. It’s just a cool Mother Ship UFO Lamp. Still, cover your rectums, there may be mini proctologists in there. In fact it may be a teaching school for tiny proctologists. Rectum? I barely knew ’em! UFO sculpture lamps make me nervous that’s all. Cool lamp, but I would keep my eye on it so it doesn’t roofie you and bugger your bugleboys.
Author: Artemis Winterford
These Plush Skull Slippers Have No Soles
These kicks have kicked the bucket. These slippers have lost their sole. These Plush Skull Slippers must be what the Grim Reaper wears on his day off, when he’s just reaping around the house. You know, he’s sewn a lot all week and on the weekend he’s gotta reap what he has sewn. I would just stop sewing. Problem solved.
Anyway, these slippers are to die for. I hear that if you want a larger size you have to throw down calcium chews and just let them gobble them up. Cuz calcium builds bigger and stronger bones. Get it? Whatevs.
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Scary Monster Pint Glasses
Have a pint with Dracula, or a zombie, or a jack-o-lantern or a skeleton. These Scary Monster Pint Glasses make everything a monster drink! Of course having a pint with dracula means a pint of blood. Your blood. I’m type O myself. As in “Oh sh*t he’s drinking my blood!” These glasses are perfect for Halloween or everyday scares. Beer me Zombie! Let’s get this party started.
Pastel Coffin Necklaces
Don’t mess with me buddy. I wear death around my neck. These Pastel Coffin Necklaces are both cute and creepy. They have a little heart cutaway so you can see the corpse inside, if there was a corpse. A corpse is a corpse, of corpse of corpse. These necklaces go with everything. You can even be buried in it and look great. Any takers? Ant undertakers?
Zombie with Dress-Up Clothes Vinyl Magnet Set
I don’t know how many times I’ve said it. You have to dress up your zombie. I can’t stress this enough. Your Zombie can’t just walk around naked. I mean their naughty parts are all rotten and putrid for one thing. Dress them up people, or don’t keep them as pets. It’s that simple. This Zombie with Dress-Up Clothes Vinyl Magnet Set will help teach you how to dress them for success. Put these magnets on the fridge and have fun putting clothes on an undead form. There’s even a beer can in there. Or maybe it’s an energy drink.
Dress this one and dress the real thing. This ain’t no game peeps. Naked Zombies are the worst. But their naked bodies got a lot of shame in their game. True dat!