If you want to cover gifts in bats, you don’t need a bunch of dead bats and a glue stick. What you need is Goth Gift Wrap. It’s a classier way to bathe something in bats. Elegant in fact. I plan to wrap a pile of guano meticulously and leave it on my neighbor’s doorstep. He’ll go batsh*t crazy. Hey, I care enough to give the very best.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Bird People X-Rays – Ooh La La
These Bird People X-Rays from DrDublinArtGallery are pretty sexy. I wish I was the photographer on this shoot. “That’s it, baby. Shake those tail-feathers. Keep that beak up. Now wrap those wings around yourself and look all coy. You saucy swallow, how did you get high heels on those talons?”
Not gonna lie, I’m kinda turned on. I wanna ravage that raven and seduce that swallow. You silly little woodpecker, come here and knock on wood.
Gut Instinct Sculpture – Should Have Used Hot Dogs
A piece of weird art like this Gut Instinct Sculpture takes guts man. Real intestinal fortitude. But I mean, it looks like hot dogs. So they should have just used hot dogs. Come to think of it, this thing looks like it’s the patron saint of hot dogs. Our lady of the perpetual weiner. Just needs a hot dog halo and some holy light. By the by, our lady of the perpetual weiner is how I refer to the head prostitute at that place down the road. But I digress.
Holy hot dogs Batman! I guess the artist went with her gut instinct here for real. So yeah, behold the Gut Instinct Sculpture.
Alien Man In Black Mannequin
You could have this Alien Man In Black Mannequin in the corner of your room, protecting his pee-pee with his white-gloved hands and hoping that he is invisible. So is it a man in black or an alien? Make up your damn mind. And get your hands off your junk. This is what I want in a butler by the way.
Alien.
Well-dressed.
Stand in the corner and shut your abduction-hole.
Hide that boner!
Until I ring the bell. Then bring me my food biatch! You better cut that Snickers properly this time so I can eat it with a fork.
Alien Xenomorph Egg Cushion Pillow
This Alien Xenomorph Egg Cushion Pillow lets you lay down on the couch and get your damn face hugged into oblivion. Naptime is now nightmare time. Alien eggs. For your couch. Or bed. Or wherever the hell you want to be scared to death. Bonus: If someone tries to grab your pillow, you can say, “Hey! Lego my alien EGGo!” That’s always fun. At least until they hatch. Then your fun wordplay aint shizz! You’re just alien Xenomorph food.
After it eats you, it’s gonna sit on your couch watching Oprah and warm up all of the other eggs until they hatch. Sad really.