Author: Artemis Winterford

Toad Horror Art Doll is Both Toady and Grody

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Toad Horror Art Doll is Both Toady and Groady
Hey toady. You grody. To the max! This Toad Horror Art Doll is what happens when you think you’re a princess kissing a frog, but really you’re kissing a nasty toad. Hate when that happens. Look at that face honey child! I done toad you it was fugly. That tadpole turned a tad ugly. At least she’s all dressed up to meet a nice young man. Even though she never will. You can’t win if you don’t play.

Speaking of which, these scratch off tickets really suck. I’m almost at the end of this brick of 500 and I’m still broker than an ugly toad girl. I’m playing! I should win! WTF universe! WTF!? I don’t want to be writing this blog forever and looking at Princess Toadstool over here! She looks like toad stool alright!
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Scream Ghostface Necklace Pendant

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Scream Ghostface Necklace Pendant
This Scream Ghostface Necklace Pendant is a real scream. I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. In my case, I’m screaming cuz I don’t have any. Just checked the freezer. I also cried for a half hour, but I’m too lazy to go to the store. So basically, I feel like this guy looks. If I did have ice cream, it wouldn’t have a ghost of a chance of lasting more than an hour.

But I digress. Just sayin’ this pendant is pretty damn cool.

Men’s Skeleton Ties

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Men's Skeleton Ties
Without one of these Men’s Skeleton Ties, you will feel naked as a skeleton. I’m know, cuz once I wore a tie and took it off, and I felt naked. Because I was. I was the manager at a nudist colony. Hence the tie.

Anyway, these are some cool men’s accessories. They come in a variety of colors, all with a skeleton who looks deep in thought. I bet he’s wondering if he needs more calcium.

Wacky Taxidermy – What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

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Wacky Taxidermy - What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger
Do you even lift bro? That’s what I thought. Me? I brought some serious heat to this gun show. Okay, my arm muscles are like one of those tiny lady-guns they put in their stockings, but still, I showed up and flexed for yall, so that counts for something. Anyway, this is a $334.72 taxidermy scene that depicts two mouse bros working out and gettin’ them gains!

Yeah, I’ve thought about making one like this, but all the mice in my traps just look like the weights dropped down and pinned them by the neck, so…

Look at the mouse just bench pressing, while the other one thinks it’s a trap. Nice one Planet Zitness!

4 Glass Spider Web Votive Candle Holders

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4 Glass Spider Web Votive Candle Holders
Oh spooky. I’m gonna use this set of 4 Glass Spider Web Votive Candle Holders on Halloween and really set the mood. I just want to scare myself really good and get in the All Hallows Eve groove. I’ll decorate with some skeletons, some spiders, and these candle holders. Plus about a million other things. By the time trick or treaters arrive to ring the doorbell, I’ll be such a nervous wreck that I’ll answer the door screaming and spraying raid.