This Vampire Bat Ring covers my need for brass knuckles and bat jewelry in one handy ring. Bat-Knuckles is really what we have here. Mug me? No way! *BAM* Bat to the face! Now what’s up? Come at me bro! It’s about to get all batty up in this bizzelfry! That’s what I’m talking about! Some bat self defense. Okay, so maybe this bat ring wasn’t made for that, but it’s a cool bonus. This ring will cover all your fingers like you are getting a hug from a bat wing.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Billy From Saw Drink Coasters
Oh look, it’s that demented little freak from the Saw movies. Billy the puppet. What kind of sick game do you have for me this time? Protecting my surfaces from spills with these Billy From Saw Drink Coasters? What’s the catch? Will they self destruct in an hour while I have to saw my own leg off?
Oh I know what it is. They protect your surfaces from spills, but then you find out that the coasters themselves have stained your counter! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. You evil little son of a-.
Oh, I can’t stay mad at you. C’mere and give me a hug. Awww. Come closer. That’s it. There we go. *Shoves his face into the stain.* Don’t you ever f**k with my counter tops again. Bad puppet!
Rib Cage With Heart Pendant Necklace Or Keychain
This Rib Cage With Heart Pendant Necklace Or Keychain nearly scared my heart out of my ribs! T’was love that put it back in. No, seriously, this is a cool piece of ribby hearty flair. Is that even anatomically accurate? I have no idea. Still, you wear this pendant (Or keychain) and you know exactly where your heart is at all times. Roughly. It’s behind your ribs. Kinda. This reminds me that my heart belongs to the McRib sandwich. But that’s beside the point.
Pretty cool. NOT gonna do a ribbed for your pleasure joke. Not even gonna do it. But it is. You know it and I know it. So feel the pleasure.
Rainbow Hologram Alien Backpack
This Rainbow Hologram Alien Backpack is all shiny and holographic. It’s the future. I already had a gypsy foretell this: It is the future. The world is a barren waste. Those that survive are butt-hurt due to the experiments of the alien invaders. Humans are enslaved with alien heads on their back. You alone will save the world. She also predicted that I would tip her well and she was right. I had board game money, she had no eyesight. It was like a match made in heaven. This etsy listing means that the time is upon us.
*Sees giant rainbow alien head floating into my room at night.* ARHHHHHHH! What do you want? No, not again! *Lights go on.* Just my stupid roommate wearing this backpack as he backs into the room. NOT COOL!
Amazingly Creepy Clutch Bags
Looking for a new clutch ladies? If so, can I interest you in these Amazingly Creepy Clutch Bags? By the way, if you’re looking for a Klutz, I just spilled my drink all over the counter and dropped M and M’s all over the place. Better get me while I’m still single. *Winks* These clutch bags are all so spooky and creepy, I thought I heard a witch cackle and the bubbling of a cauldron. But that was probably the crazy cat lady that lives next door. Great she’s watching a comedy and cooking a pot of chili. Again. The walls here are paper thin. Better get the gas mask since we also share a vent.
These clutch bags all have fun and spooky designs like bats, spiders and cemeteries.
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