Author: Artemis Winterford

Glittery Bunny Pregnancy Test

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pregnancy test bunny
Congratulations. You are pregnant. Have this glittery rabbit pregnancy test. You’ll never have a free moment again. Your time will be spent cleaning poop from another smaller human’s butt-cheeks, wiping up drool, stepping on LEGO pieces as you curse the god of reproduction and you generally smell like pee.

Laugh at nerds like me all you want, but since a woman won’t touch me, I don’t have to worry about this stuff and can just play video games while my mom makes me lunch and cleans up around here.

Killer Zombie Bunny Eating Torn Underwear Sculpture

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Killer Zombie Bunny Eating Torn Underwear SculptureThey don’t call it Fruit Of The Loom for nothing! Zombie bunnies love our cotton butt-baskets and that’s why their favorite method of attack is a running jump at our crack! Which usually ends with us down on the grass with a bloody chunk torn out of our rump and our underwear in it’s rotten zombie mouth as it chews and chews.

Etsy seller amysdeliciousvintage has commemorated zombie bunny attacks with this fine sculpture. I call it “Attack of the killer butt-muncher!”
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Condom Wrapper Pillows With Giant Condoms Inside

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condom pillowYou should always practice safe sleep. That’s why I use these condom pillows. Sometimes I break out the giant fabric condom inside of the pillow and slip inside for added protection. But sometimes I wake up all limp and sweaty only to find that it is sliding off me. Sleep like a baby? Nah, I sleep like a peen.

Find it on Etsy. Vibra-ribbed and lubricated.
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Be a Hellraiser: Adopt This Pinhead Jr Doll

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pinheadIt’s baby Hellraiser! If you want a problem child, here ya go. You’ll have more problems than you know what to do with. He probably likes to twist the heads off of stuffed animals and raise hell in general, hence his name. He doesn’t like balloons near his head for obvious reasons. If you happen to sew, he doubles as a really cranky pin-cushion too. Looks look he even comes with his own bottle of hell-brewed liquor.
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Ice Bucket Challenge Costume

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ice bucket challengeThe Ice Bucket Challenge is raising all kinds of crazy money for ALS. Just dump a bucket of ice on your head and donate. You could just donate I guess, but humans are weird. Now you can dress up in the Ice Bucket Challenge costume for Halloween and live the challenge all night long while collecting candy.