Tag: lol

Squirrel In Underpants Ornament

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Squirrel In Underpants Ornament
I see London, I see France, I see a Squirrel In Underpants. And some things you can’t un-see. You would be nuts not to have this Squirrel In Underpants Ornament on your Christmas tree. Are you looking for nuts, Squirrel? Check that elastic waistband and I bet you find two. This guy looks pretty happy to just be chillin’ in his briefs. Chillin’ on your tree. Occasionally scratchin’ himself in his underwear. Actin’ all Squirrelly.

This ornament is for my kind of Christmas. I would be sitting in my chair in my underwear, staring at him. He would be in his underwear staring at me from the tree. Then the guy in his underwear outside would be staring at us both- What the hell? Who invited that guy?

Anywho, animals in underwear are better than animals bare. That’s what I always say. Which is why I like to venture into the forest and underwear all the critters at night.

Hot Dog Bun Doggie Bed: Your Wiener Dog Needs More Mustard

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hot dog bun bedWhen you have a hot dog, you need a cool bun. No, that’s not right. If you have a cool dog, you need a hot dog…bun. No, wait. I can do this. I have been trained in the blogging arts.

*Reaches zen place* If you have a Wiener dog, you need a hot dog bun bed!

Ha! I knew I could do it, despite the fact that I have only had 3 fingers of whiskey today and one middle finger of vengeance when I sideswiped that little fat guy in a cart in the Walmart parking lot. Real cars have the right of way pal! Anyway, I never got a good look at the guy’s face since my rear view mirror smacked into it.

But I digress. You came here to see fun and weird caca that you can buy. Well, behold the Hot Dog Bun Doggie Bed. All of the condiments are on it already. You just need to supply the Wiener dog. In fact, if you click through, you can see an actual Wiener dog in the bun. Aren’t you lucky? Yes you are! Who’s the lucky little Creepbay reader? You so cute!
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Condom Wrapper Pillows With Giant Condoms Inside

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condom pillowYou should always practice safe sleep. That’s why I use these condom pillows. Sometimes I break out the giant fabric condom inside of the pillow and slip inside for added protection. But sometimes I wake up all limp and sweaty only to find that it is sliding off me. Sleep like a baby? Nah, I sleep like a peen.

Find it on Etsy. Vibra-ribbed and lubricated.
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Illegal Alien Mask

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illegal alien maskWhat can I possibly say about this illegal alien mask that won’t come off as rascist? Hmmm. Let’s just look at the Amazon reviews. There are 2. The first basically says, “THIS MASK IS RACIST!” Because, you know, people are just waiting to be offended. Relax Mister heart attack waiting to happen. It’s just a pun.

The second review rightly points out that neither the ad nor the mask give any hint as to the alien’s race, religion or ethnic group. So take that first reviewer. Plus it is an alien. And the only race that aliens have is to see who can get here first and slice up cows for science. Enough said.

Realistic Handmade Taco Purse

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realistic taco purseRun for the border with this Realistic Handmade Taco Purse. It is great for holding your taco money. Obviously. It looks delicious.

I’ll just have two tacos to go.

But you already have one sir. Can I get you anything else?

No, see, this taco is not a taco. I need a real taco. Two of them.

Looks pretty real to me sir. Would you like anything to drink?

JUST GIVE ME @&%$**$# TACO! IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT MY BOWELS BE ON FIRE THIS EVENING?