Category: Creep Wear

Can You Hear Me Now?: Body Part Earrings Make You All Ears

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ear earringsThese body part earrings make quite a statement. They say, “I want- No, I NEED more ears than anyone else. But I only want to dig wax out of two of them.” These earrings are eerie. Get it? Don’t ya just lobe them?

Personal log. Stardate: who the f knows because I sleep in everyday until dark and can’t see the clock radio through the laundry pile… Speaking of ear wax, I’ve just shoved the Q-tip in too far. Again. My attempt at getting enough wax to make an ear wax candle for my Etsy shop is not going well. Not at all. And the voices in my head have started again….

Shhhhhhhh.

Nevermind. False alarm. That was just talk radio being filtered through two pairs of crusty underwear. Is something moving in that pile. *grabs a baseball bat* I’ll be back.

Ritual Turkey Head Staff from 1916

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turkey head staffHey Larpers and nerds of other stripes. Are you a Wizard in need of a staff? You could do far worse than to buy this Odd Fellows ritual turkey head staff. Now every spell you cast will be enchanted with the words “gobble gobble” and you will look like a pimp every Thanksgiving.

Also, at the end of the day, your hand might smell like a butterball. This is $740 of strange spell casting awesomeness.
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A Suitcase For Head Cases

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head case suitcaseTry explaining this suitcase to the TSA. “What ya got in there?” Oh crap. “Nothin’ sir. Please don’t grope my balls.” The Orwellian mongoloid snaps his glove on his wrist and winks at the Obama poster on the wall, also blowing a kiss. Then he turns back to you. “Looks like your smuggling some heads in their sir. You wanna step aside so I can give you a cavity search?” You scratch your head. “Oh, well that’s not so bad. I go to the dentist regularly. Hey wait just a-”

It all ends with the pair of you smoking a cigarette in an empty room. You, bent over a table, with your pants at your ankles and the TSA goon removing his soiled glove. You start to speak, but he gently puts a finger to your lips as your eyes meet. “Shhhhhhhhh.”, he whispers. “No words.”

Fashion For The Working Girl: These Leggings Come With Dirty Knees

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bj kneesI’ll be honest, I don’t know anything about fashion, but I’m sure that many “ladies of the night” or “working girls” will appreciate that these leggings come with the knees already dirty. It’s gonna happen anyway, might as well buy them pre-soiled and get down to business.

BJ knees are gonna be hot this year, I just know it.

You Can’t Un-see The See Through Man Sweater

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see through sweaterThis see-through sweater makes the observer feel like the lead astronomer at the nipple observatory. See man-nips in all their gory glory. Experience the full effect of exposed sweaty man hair around an exposed sweaty man belly button. Sadly, this $24.99 Man sweater leaves nothing to the imagination.

More disturbing images after the break.
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