Cootie Collection Enamel Pins

Cootie Collection Enamel Pins
Cooties are bad. Ewww! Girls have them, which is why I don’t touch girls. Why they don’t touch me is another story. You won’t want to keep these Cootie Collection Enamel Pins away! These gals are pretty cute actually. Creepy and cute. Just how I like my gals. Big eyes. Colorful skin. And, they are all monsters. I used to avoid cooties. Yuck! Now I say GIVE ME THOSE COOTIES! Pin them to your shirt, bag, jacket, or anywhere. It’s a whole collection! Change them out and wear your favorites, or use them all at once. It’s your call. You decide. Cootie Cuties that’s what I call ’em.

If you want something a bit darker than the Cootie Collection, check out this Vampire Bat Pin. Cuz some days you feel like accessorizing with little demon girls and other times you want something more traditionally Gothic. Do you have a Cootie Collection? I mean I have some that I keep in a jar whenever one jumps off of a girl onto me, but I haven’t added to it for a while. I just don’t get that close to girls. Cuz I’m too cool and they can’t handle it. Hey, sucks to be them.

Demented Doll Face Horror Brooch

Demented Doll Face Horror Brooch
Good God! What is that Demented Doll Face pinned to your shirt? Did it burst out of your chest? This soulless doll is for attention-seekers. She is eating her own ever-lovin eyeball! What does that taste like? Chicken. It’s always chicken! Her creepy, all-seeing, little eye stares from between her lips, staring and saying wassup. Where did she come from? Heaven? Hell? The underworld? The upside-down? The answer is obvious. Hell. Gotta be hell. Is it me or does the eyeball follow you? Glad you had a good lunch, lady. She is the epitome of a gothic, creepy, cyclops head.

I’m calling her Iris for obvious reasons. When you wear this little gem, all eyes are going to be on you. Not just the one in her mouth. Plus, are those eyelids sealed shut? Maybe she shiftf her eyes between her eye-sockets and her mouth. It’s more nightmare-inducing the more you think about it. I bet the only way to kill this demented doll face is to put it in front of a mirror. Or make it face off against the Eyeball Door Knob.

Mysterious Sterling Silver Owl Ring

Sterling Silver Owl Ring
Whooooo is that? Who? Who? It is the coolest sterling silver owl ring. That’s who. It is classically creepy. Owls are creatures of the night, swooping and gliding through by dark trees as they hunt their unsuspecting prey for a late night snack. Embrace your inner bird of prey with this beautiful ring! My, what big eyes you have! Huge eyes are one of the owl’s best features. These striking orbs can spot a tiny morsel from way high up in the air. Then they swoop down and their prey is eliminated. Beauty and brutality. Ain’t nature wonderful? Channel your inner owl with this cool ring and be the envy of owl your friends. I mean all. All your friends. Those eyes. So intense. Reminds me of my ex wife when she wants money. She doesn’t even need to wear one of these creepy owl masks. She was born with resting bird-of-prey face.

Yeah nature is all about beauty and death. Kind of like this site. If it’s in nature and it is cute, chances are it can kill you or at the very least injure you horribly. That’s why I steer clear of nature. I just don’t give a hoot.

Dentures Brooch – Haute Cou-Tooth

Dentures Brooch - Haute Cou-Tooth
3…tooth…1… Looking for a fancy new Dentures Brooch? Here you go. It goes with anything. Wear it with a blazer, a sweater, wear it on your pants and if anyone asks you have an elder girlfriend who left them behind. Or that a hooker left them behind. AKA an in-dentured servant. I have no idea and that’s the tooth. I just work here and I spend most of the day napping. This dentures brooch is a dangly, toothy, do not brooch this subject brooch. It pairs well with the human teeth ring. Which sounds like some elderly gang who goes around stealing teeth, but it’s not.

Straight Outta The Coffin T-Shirt

Straight Outta The Coffin T-Shirt
Gang gang! This Straight Outta The Coffin T-Shirt is some serious gang shizz. The coffin gang. Definitely, the bloods then, not the crypts. Wear it and show your colors cuz you know the werewolf gang on the upper east side ain’t playin’ and stuff is about to pop off! They been lifting their legs in our hood and showing disrespect, pissing on every fire hydrant like the dogs they are. It’s war. It’s also starting to really smell bad.

Fresh out of your coffin? Also, check out this Coffin Zen Garden.

Straight Outta The Coffin

Ain’t been out dat often

My and my possie out for blood.

Pants are outta fashion

Like I’m expecting a flood.

Sipping O Negative like it was a positive

From my gothic pimp cup. It’s my prerogative.

Flying through the night with my bat homies

Sucking from the neck of a chick named Naomi.

I ain’t playing no garlic, I ain’t playing no cross.

Gotta make a note so I don’t forget to floss.

Teeth are all filed sharp as a razor.

I’m marking each victim with a mother f***ing laser.

Back to my coffin cuz I’m tired as sh*t

Been drinkin’ all night and it’s time to quit.