This Leather Skull Wallet is perfect for that 3 bucks, stick of chewing gum and commemorative condom from 1985, that I always carry with me. Scratch that. Finally used the condom last week. Yay me. Some lucky kid is about to have a dad with 3 bucks! You really scored kid. Congratulations. That’s a reincarnation fail right there. If you believe in that sort of thing. Well, there goes my life savings. Now I can’t even get this sweet wallet. If I died right now and came back as my just being conceived kid, I could get my 3 bucks back. Sweet idea! I’m gonna go do some daredevil stuff. Just to be clear, I’m not dressing in a red suit and guarding Hell’s Kitchen. I’m just doing stupid dangerous stuff.
Category: Creep Wear
Evil Eye Necklaces – Stop Looking At Me!
You giving me the evil eye? Okay, cool. As long as it’s not the stink eye. Or the pink eye. These Evil Eye Necklaces from Etsy seller SharaJewels are a great accessory. I’m calling this one Iris. So how do you make this kind of eye jewelry? Well, you have to learn and be a good pupil. You have to sit in school and learn and not say anything corny…a. You gotta have 20/20 focus, or if ya don’t you can always hit up lenscrafters, where they laugh at you and fit you with a pair of old timey nerd-glasses, but that may have just been a special treat just for me.
Anyway, I really just want this one to stop looking at me, cuz it’s kinda flirty and kinda dirty. Which makes me feel self conscious. So stop it.
Dark Cameo Skeleton Necklaces
These Dark Cameo Skeleton Necklaces are pretty scary. You can choose from the three shown in the image or you can get them all cuz they tell an awesome story from left to right. That story is as follows: Once upon a time there was a dead girl with long hair. Then she put her hair up. Then got bitten by some nasty teeth. The end.
I like long haired girl the best and that’s not just because I skipped to the end and read the last page. I just like my skeletons with long hair that’s all. Nothing wrong with that. Even if I bring my own wig. Perfectly acceptable. No big deal.
Horror Movie Villain Rings For Every Finger
AlexFoxJewelryStudio has several scary and awesome Horror Movie Villain Rings. So many that you could have one on every finger and form an all-star slasher team, which would be great for punching faces. Bam! Have a face full of weirdos and killers. That’s what’s up! You can choose from Michael Myers, Leatherface, Nosferatu, Jason Voorhees, Ghostface and many more.
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Godzilla Necktie
Stop stomping around the office you imbecile! And get those reports on my desk within the hour. Sorry boss, but this sweet Godzilla Necktie just kind of takes over, you know? I’m stomping around Tokyo. Those staplers and other company property that I just crushed with my feet? That’s Tokyo. I’ll get those reports to you within the hour sir.
Forty minutes later…
*Bursts through the bosses wall like the Kool-Aid man, with a loud monster shriek, flailing my arms as I drop the report on the desk.* I’m fired aren’t I? Yeah, I’ll just pack up my stuff. It’s been fun.