If I want to wear a Realistic Brain Necklace, does that make me a fashion zombie? I do crave it. Kinda want to bite it even. And lick it. Just put me out of my misery right now cuz I won’t be happy until I get this juicy brain accessory and wear it around my neck. Still gonna lick that thing though cuz I’m freaky like that. It looks so ooey and gooey.
Category: Creep Wear
Octopus Shoulder Bag
Got any spare change? Mind if I shove my hand in your Octopus Shoulder Bag and find out? This bag would be perfect for a girl named Mari. Cala-Mari. Carry this guy on your shoulder and you are gonna turn heads. Everyone’s gonna be making quite the octo-fuss over it. Are we sure it’s not a shock-to-pus, cuz it shocks me how awesome this thing is. And I don’t shock easy. Well, aside from tasers. Those shock me.
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Spider Web Cardigan
Oh what a tangled web you weave. In your wardrobe. This Spider Web Cardigan is gonna catch some flies. And by flies, I mean men. And by men, I mean me. Hubba hubba. Spider girl, you make my heart whirl. Are you a Black Widow or a Recluse? Cuz if you’re a recluse we could just go back to your place. Heh. That’s just a little spider joke. Your place? Cool. Uh, I couldn’t help but notice all of the decapitated heads of your past mates, which I just tripped over on the way in. This may have been a bad idea.
Leather Kraken Helmet
Crikey, ats a kraken elmet mate! I’ll take a crack at that kraken helmet. It doesn’t have any actual cracks right? Good cuz my head needs to be protected while I’m riding my Big Wheel, which I decked out in tentacles and seaweed. I’m going for a whole Mad Max thing. In this case, I call it Crazy Kraks.
You see why I have to protect my noggin? Cuz these ideas are gold! Plus I’m a big fan of Cthulhu and Krakens. In school the girls used to call me H.P. Nub-craft, for reasons I don’t feel comfortable getting into here. Well, I better get Kraken if I’m gonna save up all my dough and buy this thing.
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Swarovski Crystal Skull Earrings
Wow, look at those crystal skull earrings. Back off Indy, that’s mine! I’m gonna sell it for a fortune and buy a small island. *Knees Indy in his 70 year old junk and watches as he falls down a trap pit. Then I swing into action, clutching a jungle vine and snatch these Swarovski Crystal Skull Earrings off of the lovely lady who is no longer wearing them and jump into a waiting jeep.* So pretty. Such a rare treasure! What the? *Indy drops behind me as I’m racing down a tight road on the side of a cliff. He gives me a choke hold, so I elbow him in the ribs and send him flying over the cliff.* Haha. Sucker. *Reaches into my pocket where the earrings are missing.* Nooooooooooo. *Jumps out of the car and over the cliff after him.*
Two adventurers died that day and the treasure was lost again. You see what happens when you interfere Indy? This is why I can’t have nice things.
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