Category: Just Plain Weird

Patriotic Stars and Stripes Duck Diaper Harness

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duck diaperTired of cleaning up duck poop? Me too. It’s everywhere. My pet duck refuses to clean up after itself. You ever seen a duck poop 5 inch mounds all over the carpet? I should probably stop feeding it hamburger helper and Mountain Dew. This patriotic duck diaper harness should help.

But then I would have to change him like a baby. I have enough trouble keeping my own butt poop free. Again, it’s probably the Hamburger helper and mountain dew.

Wait- I feel like such an idiot. Those 5 inch mounds of molten lava-rhea are mine. *Duck stares at me* I’m not apologizing. I’m not. Duck you.

Vintage Football Looks Like Stewie Griffin From Family Guy

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stewie griffin footballThe seller of this vintage football says that it looks like E.T. I think it looks like Stewie Griffin. Now the prophecy is at hand! Somewhere, a small child is planning to take over the world.

It is just $2.
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Campbell’s Cream Of Chicken Feet Soup: Mmm Mmm No

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cream of chicken feetThe good thing about this can of Campbell’s Cream Of Chicken Feet Soup is that you can use one of the talons to open the can.

Uh, thanks mom, but I don’t need any soup. I’m feeling much better now. Your choice of grocery store items has induced vomiting. As usual. You go ahead and enjoy yourself.
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Antique Pirate Slot Machine

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pirate slot machineArrrrrrrr matey! Feast yer eyes on this antique pirate machine. Pull the lever and lose ye booty. No, it won’t slim ye butt-shanks, I mean prepare to lose yer treasure as ye drop coin down my slot. What do ye mean I sound like an old mermaid harlot? Listen, get ye mind out of the gutter and yank me pistol down to get me dials spinning. What? Oh nevermind!
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Han Solo In Carbonite Toilet Seat

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Han Solo In Carbonite Toilet SeatThis is how you deal with smugglers that are ticking you off. You freeze them in carbonite and make a toilet seat out of them, so they are forced to kiss your fat butt cheeks for all eternity. If you are a big fat slug creature, you can always freeze someone else for your wall, but Solo deserves the toilet treatment. $59.99.