I hate it when zombies eat my cupcakes! This Cupcake Recipe book will allow me to fight back by giving me tips on defending my cupcakes from these undead hooligans. Wait. That’s not what this book is about. Is it? I guess not. Still, the A Zombie Ate My Cupcake Recipe Book will teach you how to bake all kinds of cool and fun zombie themed treats. But I’m not gonna bother, cuz a zombie would just steal mine. I know. I’ll just make extra! Wow, look at me problem solving like an adult. I’m adulting everyone! Look at me! I’m adulting! Now I’m gonna go color!
Tag: amazon.com
Sugar Skull Leather Desk Organizer
I don’t know about you, but my desk could use some organizing. I have a mess all over my desk. But that’s mostly cuz I pass out on it frequently. Then never clean up the bottles and broken glasses. Anywho, this Sugar Skull Leather Desk Organizer should at least help me wrangle my pens and pencils so I don’t poke an eye out when I go down for the count. Plus, when I wake up, I have a cool skull to look at. Maybe it will imprint on me and I’ll think it’s my mommy. We’ll find out when it arrives.
Human Anatomy Shower Curtain – Why Not?
This Human Anatomy Shower Curtain will shower you with knowledge of the human body. See what I did there? Basically just undress your own anatomy from your clothing and stand there naked while learning about yourself. Then get in the shower and have some fun with yourself. And by that, I mean get clean. Get your mind out of the gutter. Now you know all there is to know about your body while showering, so if you poop or pee in there, you’ll know what’s going on inside as it’s happening. Not that I condone that.
Grim Reaper Wine Glass Holder
The Grim Reaper Wine Glass Holder makes this dude a lot less scary. I had no idea he came bearing wine glasses. Now he doesn’t seem so bad. Hey buddy, what’s up? Set those glasses down and let’s drink. I’ll drink you under the table. No, I mean it. Get under the table. I’m hiding from everyone who says I have a drinking problem. Also, I keep a spare bottle of Pinot Noir duct taped under the table for emergencies. A few drinks will have you looking less grim. Ever think about re-branding yourself? I’m thinking “the Prim reaper”. Time to go all prim and proper. Clean yourself up. I’ll have my people call your people. I take 10%.
Squatty Potty – Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush
Do you own a Squatty Potty? I do. Dookie The Pooping Unicorn has changed the way I poop. Saved my life. Cleansed my colon. Got my Cleveland Steamer running better than ever. He better my bowels. My rhoids are less annoyed. While my pooping is still not leveled up enough to poop rainbows, my Hershey’s kiss production line might just turn a profit for the first time in years if I can just find some of that colored foil and some ribbon shards to package it in. What I’m saying is a heartfelt thank you.
Thank you Dookie for making America great again. For my butt.
If you feel the same way, you’re gonna want this Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush. He will keep you going. Help you keep the faith that your pooping will get better. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. *tears* I used to poop little pebble pellets, but ever since I got Squatty Potty, I poop giant grizzly bear mounds and am a mighty beast in my own bathroom again. My spirit animal is is now a Jedi ghost formed from noxious sh*t stink and I am slowly learning the ways of the force. Thank you!