Tag: art

STD Plush Sculptures

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STD Plush Sculptures
Well, I’ve gotten to know these guys so well, it’s nice to be able to put a face with the names. Hello Syphilis. Hello Herp! I wish I could say it’s been awhile, but it’s only been like 2 weeks. You’re taller in person when you’re not making me itch and burn.

*Grabs giant tube of cream and squirts it all over them before shoving them both in a chest and slamming the lid down hard.* NOW I have you both under control! And my doctor said it was impossible! I’m taking these guys to my new girlfriend. I was going to give them to her anyway.
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Alien Fetus Fossils

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Alien Fetus Fossils
I hate aliens. Always using our planet for their human experimentation. I don’t know what’s worse, that or the fact that their medical ships use the Earth as a place to chuck their alien fetuses. I’m not pro or anti alien abortion, I just think it’s nasty when our scientists dig up these Alien Fetus Fossils.

Bunch of intergalactic litter bugs!

Hand Crafted Weirdness: Hellraiser Box

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hellraiser box
What the? A Hellraiser box. Damn, you raised hell on yourself son! Hellraiser fail! You supposed to raise hell on other people. Now look at you, with your weird jewelry, feeding tube and pins stuck into your face. Congratulations on splitting your head open too. Even your butt is full of pins and stickin’ out the side!

You got problems homie!
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Weird Boy Scout Painting

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Weird Boy Scout Painting
Troop 241 better put their heads between their legs and kiss their butts goodbye. They probably did exactly that. We only know what happened because of this Weird Boy Scout Painting, which was likely painted by some nerd trying to earn his artist merit badge while ghosts and f***ing UFOs attack in the woods. Even the trees are alive and pissed!

I would be pissed too if a group of mustached and O-Faced thirty years-olds dressed as boy scouts set up camp in my woods too. Losers! Why are you all warming your feet when it’s not even winter????
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Rubber Lips Wall Hanging

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Rubber Lips Wall Hanging
Whatcha doin’ rubber lips? Just being a Rubber Lips Wall Hanging and hanging around, waiting to be kissed? What’s that? If I kiss you, you’ll turn into a beautiful full fledged woman? Yeah, but will you still be rubber? Doesn’t matter, my last relationship was the same way. I’ll hang you at lip height so I can kiss you. Then the magic happens. Let’s just get rid of that cigarette first. Those lips sure are nice.

*Looks around to make sure nobody is watching.* You know what, that space is reserved for a poster I have my eye on. I’m just gonna put you wayyy down here at belt buckle level. Just below. Yeah, cuz wall space is at a premium. Hey, you know what…..

Chicken butt!

You people and your dirty minds. I just have very little wall space. Geesh!