This Coin Cavity Purse will try to bite you every time you put change in or take change out. Plus obsessive compulsives will have to brush and floss these pearly whites every time they open it. That’s a nice set of chompers. You know how you hate that old lady who is always holding up the checkout line cuz she’s paying in change? Now you can be that person, except others won’t be pissed off at you, they’ll be scared. Of you and for you. And I don’t blame them.
Tag: mouth
Monster Teeth Coasters
What the? Damn it grandma, you left your dentures out again. *Canned laughter* My boss is coming over for dinner and those are a dead giveaway that you are really a demon under that moo-moo. That and your demon breath. *More canned laughter* Try a tic-tac. I thought we talked about this.
Well, if you don’t move ’em, I’m using ’em as a nasty monster teeth coaster. At least then they’ll think I just ordered ’em off of Etsy. God those dentures are nasty! Do you even brush those? Oh no! Did you glue that on the table? *Ding-dong!* *Looks at camera shocked as it zooms in.*
This has been another episode of My Favorite Grand-Demon. Only on NBC.
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Rubber Lips Wall Hanging
Whatcha doin’ rubber lips? Just being a Rubber Lips Wall Hanging and hanging around, waiting to be kissed? What’s that? If I kiss you, you’ll turn into a beautiful full fledged woman? Yeah, but will you still be rubber? Doesn’t matter, my last relationship was the same way. I’ll hang you at lip height so I can kiss you. Then the magic happens. Let’s just get rid of that cigarette first. Those lips sure are nice.
*Looks around to make sure nobody is watching.* You know what, that space is reserved for a poster I have my eye on. I’m just gonna put you wayyy down here at belt buckle level. Just below. Yeah, cuz wall space is at a premium. Hey, you know what…..
Chicken butt!
You people and your dirty minds. I just have very little wall space. Geesh!
Freaky Teeth Coin Purse
Your total is fifty dollars and forty-nine cents sir.
Here you go. Here is fifty dollars. And here is my Freaky Teeth Coin Purse where you can get the change. *Holds it up* You may open it.
Uh. I’m good. You open it.
No, I insist, you open it.
I’m not touching that mouth sir!
Go ahead. I can’t open it. I have arthritis.
Sir, you and your freak lady purse with teeth are holding up the line. Just go.
Well I never. *Bags my groceries and leaves* YES! This demented dental purse has saved me like seventy bucks this week. *Whistles through the parking lot.*
Tea Pot / Coffee Pot With Mouth
This tea pot has a mouth. I mean it isn’t going to curse at you or anything. It just has a full, luscious and inviting mouth. The matching sugar and creamer also each have mouths. You can make them kiss.
Is it yawning? Singing? I have no idea. If you want some tea, it will be more than happy to regurgitate some for you without leaving too much backwash in your cup. Whatever else you do with it is your business.
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