Are you as confused as I am? This Rat Crucifix Held Together By Octopus Tentacles With Machine Guns is pretty rat-icle. Is it about rats against violence? Octopi against rats doing violence? Rats against Octopus enslavement? I just don’t get what you’re trying to say. As a crucifix I’m pretty sure it would ward off something, I just have no idea what.
All I can say is, stay off the drugs kids. And if you don’t, make art I guess.
So… That happened. The Human Centipede Ginger Bread Man wants to be your new favorite holiday decor. Looks like they have a good ginger bread train going there. All aboard! Choo choo! If you’re gonna do the whole human centipede thing, I guess being a ginger bread man is the way to go. That way, all you taste is ginger bread, instead of you know, butt. I love that guy’s face in front. He’s all like, “Holy shizz! I did not see my day going like this!”
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VoodooDelicious sells some horrifying pet rocks. You can’t just go out in nature and find pet rocks like these, not that I’ve experienced nature ever. I’m chained to this computer so I can bring awesome stuff like this to your attention. These rocks rock! Don’t ever take them for granite!
I’m gonna put one of these on my desk to remind me that there are horrors in this world. And also so I can hit people in the head. You never know when you’re gonna need a weapon. And these rocks will look them in the face while bashing them. That’s gotta count for something.
Got any spare change? Mind if I shove my hand in your Octopus Shoulder Bag and find out? This bag would be perfect for a girl named Mari. Cala-Mari. Carry this guy on your shoulder and you are gonna turn heads. Everyone’s gonna be making quite the octo-fuss over it. Are we sure it’s not a shock-to-pus, cuz it shocks me how awesome this thing is. And I don’t shock easy. Well, aside from tasers. Those shock me.
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This is “Lenny”, a Stained Glass Mosaic Skull. He’s a colorful dude. Make sure you put him in the sun so he can really shine and maybe use the suns rays to grow a body. Is that how that works? I have no idea. Wait! Is he wearing lipstick? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just not sure that color is him. Whatevs. I don’t judge. You go ghoul.