Do you have a stuffed animal who is in need of immediate surgery and needs every organ transplanted? Thank God for this Complete Set Of Crochet Plush Organs. Now you can give your plush animals new life. Or you can just hang this entire set on your wall or something. Basically we are talking plush guts here. An entire torso worth of ’em. It’s all anatomically correct. I have to take their word for that cuz I’m not a stuffed animal doctor.
This is pretty cool and all, but what I really need is a replacement wiener for a Teddy Bear cuz mine didn’t come with one for some reason.
These crazy monster heads are basically demon heads popping out of your wall. The sellers says:
In this piece I attempt to personify many of my own personal “demons” that have taught me the importance of persistence, dedication and determination to name a few.
Damn. You and your “friends”must have been a real hit at dinner parties. Now you can take this person’s demons and display them on your wall. But collection other people’s demons may not be a good idea. Read more “A Bunch Of Crazy Monster Heads For Your Wall”
You know how it is. You’re cooking Thanksgiving dinner and one thing leads to another. Before you know, you have the turkey on your head. Happens to the best of us. Then you flail around the kitchen breaking stuff cuz you can’t see and you have a turkey on your head. Yeah, this Clumsy Cook Turkey Mask simulates the whole experience. Except it has eye holes and a mouth hole, where a real turkey does not.
This is the New Hampshire vampire that allegedly assaulted a grocery store employee a few days ago. As you can see, the police must have filed down his fangs before the picture. Police violence man! #VampTeethMatter So basically a female employee was taking boxes out to the dumpster when the vampire approached her asking if she needed help. No word on if he had a Transylvania accent or if he just sounded as wasted as he looks. Then he broke every rule of being a vampire and hunting for your prey: He told her he was a vampire and began running towards her. Did he hiss and raise a cape to his face? We have no idea, thanks to shoddy journalism.
So the woman ran inside the store yelling for help as the vampire yelled, “just touch me, I can save you.” Then he wrapped his arms around her and she fell to the ground. That’s how you know this story is true. He used his powers to apparently put her to sleep. Then he attacked another employee who tried to fight him off and the dude probably lifted a cross and prayed for Jesus to deliver him from the clutches of this fearsome meth-pire.
When they arrested the vampire, he tried to glamor their asses, telling the officer that he was a “vampire, ghost rider, Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid, and a leader of a band.” Assuming that his true identity as Captain Meth from planet WhereTheFugAmI was now safely protected, he went off to jail, where he presumably sits in the corner mumbling and building a nest out of toilet paper, as he slowly wets a piece in his mouth and builds. Wet and build. Wet and build.
Well, hello there. You are one sexy Velociraptor. I am gonna make sweet love to you until you are dino-saur. Baby you are-
*Door opens*
What?! Nothing is happening here. Just admiring this fun Sexy Velociraptor Body Hug Pillow Case. What do you mean my hips were gyrating? It’s called dancing.
Dirty Dancing?
Very funny.
So you weren’t giving her a Jurassic Pork?
You are disgusting. She’s not like that.
So you weren’t giving her a big hard bang that would lead to the extinction of her species?
