These Stone Skull Cross Pendants from wayanbrothers are badass. What up Damon! What up Marlon! It’s a crucifix skeleton. A Skele-fix. A Crucible of cruci-bones. A cross of calcium. It’s stone cold awesome. Let’s make a petition so that priests have to wear these. I just need your signature right here. Boom! You been scammed bro! You just signed up for a pyramid scheme and I’m at the top, watching all you slaves build the pyramid. Faster! Faster slaves! Oh dang! There’s a guy above me and he just got all the profits. No wonder the Egyptians gave up on pyramids.
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Tag: cross
Losing My Religion… and My Lunch – Infected Crucifix
If you have an Infected Crucifix like this in your church, you really have a health hazard. Would it kill ya to at least spray some Windex on everything, oh I don’t know, once a century? Cuz I know the bacteria and germs on this thing WILL kill ya. This will be the first time ever that a priest has to be called in to perform an exorcism on the cross itself. Actually, I’m pretty sure this is the cross that creates all demons and bad things in this world, while also smelling putrid, like the puss smell of a thousand zitty butts, when all the zits burst at the same time. Lunch? You lost it.
This piece really grosses me out. Why have you shown me this lord? Why have you cast my eyes upon this? What is the message?
*Booming voice* Because you have an infection you idiot!
Oh….
Is it my weiner? Please don’t let it be my weiner.
Waaaa waaaa waaaa. This is the thanks I get for trying to warn you? Nothing but complaining! NOW it is your weiner!
Oh boy! Starting to feel the burn. Is it too late for some hail marys and a confession?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Crucifixion
That’s right. This is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Crucifixion. Why does it exist? No idea. Cuz pain meds maybe. I’m not sure if this is Raphael, Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Socrates, or whatever the hell the other ones are named, but he clearly died for our sins. So be good to one another cuz God is making a list and checking it twice. He’s gonna find out who’s naughty and nice. Oh wait. My bad. that’s Santa Claus.
We’ve featured CoffinCollector’s work before. Always interesting. Always makes me dizzy and a little scared.
Heroes in a half shell! Resurrection power!
Rat Crucifix Held Together By Octopus Tentacles With Machine Guns
Are you as confused as I am? This Rat Crucifix Held Together By Octopus Tentacles With Machine Guns is pretty rat-icle. Is it about rats against violence? Octopi against rats doing violence? Rats against Octopus enslavement? I just don’t get what you’re trying to say. As a crucifix I’m pretty sure it would ward off something, I just have no idea what.
All I can say is, stay off the drugs kids. And if you don’t, make art I guess.
Holy Freddy On A Cross – Horror Movie Wall Sculptures
These Horror Movie Wall Sculptures from HaskellFX make for some scary home decor. Speaking of, you know what else makes for some really scary horror decor? All of those stains on my walls from where I swatted flies and never cleaned up. It’s getting so thick it looks like an impressionist painting is starting to take shape.
Anyway, you can choose from Freddy Krueger on an upside down cross patterned like his sweater, Jason Voorhees and that Leatherface guy on a Texas shaped background. Tell ’em Creepbay sent ya. It’ll be no haskell at all. You know, cuz the shop name… Haskell. *sigh* Ohhhhhhh. So you don’t like my sense of humor huh? Well, quit haskelling me! Okay, new policy everybody. Don’t hask, don’t tell. Hask-a-la-vista baby!
Who doesn’t love a Freddy crucifix? Oh yeah. God. Probably God doesn’t like that.
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