Tag: candles

Weird Face Candles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

face candleThese weird face candles are freaking me out. They aren’t even face candles. They lack full faces. One is just a mouth that looks like the guy is grimacing after seeing something scary. The other is just a pair of ears. They all look pretty freaky all stacked up in a pyramid as seen in the pic below. They probably look extra weird when half melted.

I only use candles when the a storm knocks the power out. No way I’m using these. Thanks for the nightmares. I think I’ll sit in the dark instead.
Read more “Weird Face Candles”

Spooky Star Wars Candles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

spooky star wars candlesLet these Star Wars candles from the dark side, light up your room. Darth Vader finds your lack of spooky Star Wars candles disturbing. Don’t disappoint him. Besides you need some extra light right? I know I could use some extra light. I guess the electric company doesn’t appreciate being paid in piggybank coins and lint. The joke’s on them though. I just connected to the neighbors Wi-Fi to type this. Who names their Network Connection “Neighbor creeper with the f***ed up website not invited”? Did we get new neighbors? I didn’t see a moving truck. He has a website too. Cool. We have something in common. Now if they just had these in star wars vehicles.
Read more “Spooky Star Wars Candles”

The Real Burning Man: Incredible Melting Man Candles…Mandles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

burning man candlesIncredible Melting Mandles. Man + Candles = Mandles. These candles are like little zombies that you can watch melt to the ground in three hours. Light him up, watch his last hours on this Earth. Only $15. from Etsy seller Stexe.

Click through for more pictures and an awesome rock solid video demo of these mandles. You’ll want to get yourself a little trash bin to go with these guys.
Read more “The Real Burning Man: Incredible Melting Man Candles…Mandles”

American Horror Story Custom Prayer Candles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

american horror storyThese American Horror Story Custom Prayer Candles from Etsy seller Zachstuff will set the mood for your next AHS marathon. All of the witches and bitches from season 3 are here, dressed up all religious like. Great for interior lighting and for casting spells. Only $49.95.

Set The Mood With Poop Candles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

poop candlesThese poop candles look like stinky sticks of dynamite. Good thing they aren’t, because I would want a longer fuse. You don’t want to be anywhere near these when they go off. Luckily they are just candles. Lumpy(and probably nutty and corn-filled) candles.

Check out the lumpiness and girth on these bad boys. You would really have to strain and practice some deep breathing to get these things out of your bowels. Then, once you did, you would need a good long break to sit there and pant, regain your breath. These are some seriously unhealthy Cleveland Steamers. If your biz looks like this, go coffin shopping right now.

They smell like roses and are bound to keep things classy in your home. More shots below.
Read more “Set The Mood With Poop Candles”