Baby Head Candles: Burn Baby Burn!

Baby Head Candles Burn Baby Burn!
Burn baby burn! Dissscccooo infernoooooo! Burn the mother down! Who says to themselves, “You know I need some candle light. Just to set the mood and chill. You know what would be good? If I could burn a candle that looked like an innocent and gentle baby’s head.”

I have no idea who says that, but these Baby Head Candles are scented too. Hopefully with scents other than “I just pooped my pants” and “I’ve been sitting in pee for an hour”. I’d use these. A baby with fire coming out of it’s head? Sign me up. That’s one hardcore and badass baby. I think it just needs a full wax body and a guitar!

Scented Beer Bottle Candles

Beer Bottle Candles
These Scented Beer Bottle Candles are perfect for your mancave. For once you won’t have to get drunk and spill your beer in the wife’s candle to have a beer scented candle. Or spill wax in your beer bottle. Etsy seller UReflections
has done all of the work for you.

No more dumping beer on the carpet to get that smell. Now you can have fresh beer scent even if you don’t live in a beer splattered pigsty of your own making. We truly are living in the future.

Zombie Head Candles: Do I Smell Brains?

zombie candles
These small zombie candles look like Simpsons zombies. Sure, you’ll smell their brains burning, but at least you get to watch some heads bleed and melt. The seller says that their names are Homer, Eyegore, Homer with blood and Fergal.

You can get them with or without blood splatters. They are perfect for Halloween or as a stress reliever. Call me crazy, but there’s something soothing about watching heads melt. Maybe that’s just me.

Soap Pistol With .45 Caliber Bullet Candles

bullet candles
I have never been so dirty that I have needed a gun and some bullets to get clean. But just in case I ever am that filthy, I’m going to get me this Soap Pistol With .45 Caliber Bullet Candles. I can look tough while bathing, as I rub this gun all over my body, under the light cast from some bullet candles.

Pew! Pew! Pew! Hey, my gun is shrinking! Is that normal? No, not that gun!

This is my rifle, this is my gun. One is for bathing and one is for fun!

Spooky Colored Skull Candles

http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/colored-skull-candles
These colored skull candles will add an eerie otherworldly atmosphere to your home. Things will get even scarier as they begin to melt away. They are perfect for Halloween or just creating a spooky ambiance any other day of the year.

Me? Usually when I want to create a scary atmosphere I just turn out the lights completely and then turn them on again when the cockroaches come out.

Instant terror, but I love the adrenaline rush that hits me just before I run outside and make a man-shaped hole in my screen door. I should probably call the exterminator since these things have started making Predator noises.