This Tombstone Pillow lets you Rest In Peace. Just lay your head down on this comfy pillow and I’ll try not to put some Xs over your eyes and make ya look all dead like. No promises. I would use pennies, but I’m all out. Used my entire change jar full of pennies to pay for taco bell. I’ll tell ya what’s not resting in peace: My colon!
Tag: rip
Cool Miniature Tombstones
These miniature tombstones are apparently for really tiny people. RIPman. RIP. If I had a tiny hat I would tip it and hold it to my heart. But I don’t. So instead, I’m pouring out some liquor for my tiny homies. Oh s**t, here comes the wife!
Were you just pouring liquor all over my tiny tombstones that are in the dirt for my potted plant?
Just honoring the homies. Don’t be a hater! Besides liquor makes plants grow quicker. Everybody knows that. Except for that shriveled up plant in the corner. That one couldn’t hold it’s liquor. What a pansie! Get it? Oh s**t, put down that vase!
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Victorian Cemetery Necklace with Tombstones
Now you can wear the dead around your neck with this Victorian Cemetery Necklace with Tombstones. RIP man. RIP. That means Rotting In Progress right? That’s what I always thought it meant. Seems legit. This necklace has a pretty creepy cemetery scene with some gravestones and a spooky old tree.
Did I ever tell you about my house that I bought for a dollar because it was in a graveyard? No? Turns out it’s called a mausoleum and I wasn’t supposed to be there. I thought that realtor looked like a bum! That’s okay. I totally flipped that property and sold it for $10 to another bum. WINNING!
Game Over Man: Wedding Ring Casket
The Wedding Ring Casket is a tiny casket that symbolizes the death of your marriage. Just put your ring inside and and bury your wedding ring after you get divorced. If you ever want to get married again you’re basically a grave robber, cuz I don’t know about you, but I’m not buying a brand new wedding ring for a jillion dollars when I have a perfectly good one buried in the backyard between a parakeet and two turtles.
I’m not married, but I bought the ring like 20 years ago for when I meet the right girl. I think I’m just gonna bury it now and save myself some trouble. Hey, if I bury this thing and a worm crawls in the ring, are we married? I think that might be legally binding. Also, it would mean I have worms. That doctor was so right and all I did was yell and demand my lollipop while rubbing my butt against the floor. I knew if I waited long enough SOMETHING would worm it’s way into my heart.
RIP NWO Miniature Dollhouse Illuminati Tombstone
It’s never too early to indoctrinate your dolls into the world of the Illuminati. This RIP NWO Miniature Dollhouse Illuminati Tombstone will help.
I’m confused. Are their plans for a New World Order dead? Or is it saying “Rest In Peace” because the New World Order has arrived? Either way, the Illuminati will be watching your dolls with that all-seeing-eye. *Makes triangle symbol with hands.*
My work here is done.