Tag: cheesy

Cheesus Christ Cheese Grater

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cheesus grater
Cheesus, please deliver unto me a cheese grater worthy of your name and bearing thine image and I will grate the hell out of cheese in your name. P.S. I really love cheese Cheesus. You rock.

I deliver unto you this cheese grater in mine own image my child. It’s grate! Even if I do look like the Mona Lisa. Enjoy my son! Enjoy! Wait…you’re the Creepbay guy. Let’s see. I have you down for chronic masturbation and with the IQ of a wet paper bag. Not my best work. I have read the blog. You have much to answer for my son. Did you just fart? Who does that in my presence? I give up. You all suck! Keep the grater. I’m out. *poof*

Heh. Love scoring free stuff from Cheesus. Too easy. *Looks in mirror and screams* My chin! I mean…my balls! Noooooooooooooo!
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Nice Slices: Pizza Leggings

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

pizza leggings
These Pizza Leggings from Etsy seller eatmeclothing(Hey, what’d you say to me) are cheesy and hot. My two favorite food things. Girl, you got some fine pizza legs! Why don’t you put one slice in front of the other and c’mon over here. nom nom nom. Hey, these just taste like leggings! Sorry about all the holes. I’ll patch those with pepperoni if you want. I think I have some sausage around here too. Now, where is that needle and thread? No, you’ll be alright. Just stay away from stray dogs.
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Pizza Dragon: A Song Of Cheese And Fire

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

pizza dragonWhen you order this awesome Pizza Dragon, he flies to your house in a half hour or less, or he’s free. Free to set your face on fire, while he drips flaming grease and pepperoni from his wings like the vengeful winged stuffed-scale crust pizza demon that he is.

That gives me an awesome idea for a pizza chain. I’m gonna raise baby pizza dragons. I’ll raise some pepperoni, some with other toppings. They don’t even need to go into the oven since they practically cook themselves. Best of all I won’t need drivers. Just pay for your Dragon-Pizza and it gets set free so it can fly to your house. I would get rave reviews too:

“By the time I caught the thing I had third degree burns and melted cheese all over my house and now I’m undergoing throat surgery since it’s saucy blood was like lava.”

“It was OK, but my wife and Khaleesi is the Mother of Dragons. She was pretty pissed when she found out what we were eating.”

“The sausage was all carbon and ash by the time it got here. Then it ate my cat, which sucked, however, it immediately grew new bits of sausage all over it’s cheesy skin between the wings… with bits of fur in it. At least I didn’t have to bury my animal. Thanks Pizza Dragon!”
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