Feeling mopey? Yeah, me too.It’s cuz I don’t have any of these Funko Mopeez Classic Horror Plushies. I knew I was missing something in my life. It was a bunch of cuddly horror movie killers. You know what else is a horror movie killer? Diarrhea! Well, it’s a movie killer in general. Too many milk duds and a river of coke in my stomach. That’s why I always bring a change of pants to the theater. Lifehacks people!
Tag: cuddly
Horror Movie VHS Pillows
Be kind. Rewind. Hell no. I fast forwarded every VHS tape I ever rented. Take that, now defunct and obsolete media! These Horror Movie VHS Pillows are much better than renting movies on VHS. There’s no rewinding, no grainy picture, just you cuddling up with a horror movie in a super soft VHS format. Rest your head on a movie about the undead. Rest your butt on a movie about a serial killer nut.
Creepy And Cuddly Poppet Pillow Toys
Full disclosure. I have no idea what a poppet is, but I’m pretty sure it’s what the doctor removed from my rear. Rectum? No he destroyed ’em! Hahahaha. That’s a little butt humor right there. I apologize. I kept saying. Poppet! Just poppet!
Anyway… These Creepy And Cuddly Poppet Pillow Toys from doctormorose will look great in your home or mortuary. Say, isn’t that where Mort lives? That’s what mom used to say. That trip made me sad in my heart. Mort was not there. Only death. *Shudders*
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Zombie Squid 3.5 Ft Long Pillow Plush
This Zombie Squid 3.5 Ft Long Pillow Plush has an exposed brain. I like that. Brains are sexy. Why don’t you come on over here and give me a backrub with all of those arms? *Gets slapped silly by tentacles* Fine, we can just cuddle on the couch. Damn! You’re not gonna take my brain right? Fine, then how about a little Netflix and Chill? *Gets slapped silly by tentacles* No, I just meant watching Netflix and having ice cream!
Plush Spam Sandwich
Hey it’s a Plush Spam Sandwich! I’m torn. On the one hand it’s spam which is a known (to my toilet)diuretic and is vomit inducing. On the other hand, it’s a plush that looks kinda cute. What to do? I think I’ll have the best of both worlds and puke while I cuddle it.
Kinda like I did that night I found out my date was packing a sausage in her spam sandwich. It was cuddly and cozy. With tears.