This Octopus Cuff Bracelet is buff and tough and on the cuff. He’s kinda tender, kinda rough. Sadly, I’ve reached my rhyming limit for the day. This guy is large and in charge and super shiny. It’s like the kind of jewelry that an Octopus Queen would wear while summoning a Kraken. I bet it deflects bullets like Wonder Woman’s cuffs too, but don’t take my word on that. Makes me want to start an octopus jewelry business called Octopus Inc. Get it? I know, I’m a riot. Mostly cuz your silence is beating at me like a hundred police right now.
Tag: cool
Dragon Eye Pendants
It’s the… Eye of the dragon. It’s the thrill of the fight. Rising up to the challenge of our rival.And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night. And… he’s… watching us all… with the eyeeeeeeeee…. of the dragon! Love that song. These sweet Dragon Eye Pendants from CharlieMorgon are watching you and watching me. There’s no telling what they see. Although masturbation is a high probability. Just sayin’. All I’m sayin’ is maybe put some black tape over the eye before you do the deed, just like you would with your webcam. It’s just good advice.
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Leather Gothic Skull Journal
Check out this classy Leather Gothic Skull Journal. Classy. And sassy. You can use it as a diary, a journal, a notebook, whatever. That skull clasp is totally bones man. And I’m totally into leather too. Leather me up, that’s what I say. I love cow hide, nagahide,sometimes I like to run and hide. Cuz I’m crazy like that. Can you tell that my “medicine” has kicked in. Whoa man, I am in for a wild ride tonight. If I had one, I would write all of my adventures in this thing. But I don’t, so it looks like I’ll be writing another toilet paper publication novel this evening. I just write like crazy as I pull the roll, then reverse roll it up and set it on the bathroom shelf with my other works.
Tarot Card Pendants
Take it from me ladies, you are going to look smashing wearing these Tarot Card Pendants. I know cuz I read your fortune. You are also going to meet a tall, dark, handsome man. It’s probably that guy who checked you out earlier. He’s a keeper. But he will hog the blankets at night. And chew with his mouth open. I know, I know, I see a lot of useless stuff, but it’s all true cuz my imagination powers the cards and the crystal ball. Oh and he also will never cook for you or clean, but seriously, he’s the one. I promise. You won’t regret it.
I’m hoping if I put that out there, one of you will run into me and settle for me, so I have it made. Okay, so who is gonna be my sugar mama?
Trick or Treat Hot Chicks Squad Skelly Statue
Whoa. I think I found the perfect girl. Nice bones. This Trick or Treat Hot Chicks Squad Skelly Statue is gonna look great on my shelf as a constant reminder that I could never get a babe this hot. She’s like Harley Quinn’s weirder Halloween obsessed sister and I like that, who is about to swing that bat at your head. I guess I have a thing for bad girls. Man, I hope I run into the Hot Chicks Squad. They’re like the A-Team only hotter. Obviously.