Love these Succusaurus Cacteye Dinosaurs. I just love to say it. You suck! Yeah? Well you succusaurus! You’re a Succusaurus rex! They are a safe place for all of your succulents, but they also create a new dinosaur species. I was trying to figure out what else to say, but I can’t find the right words. Better consult my Thesucusaurus. I mean thesaurus.
It’s like dinosaurs were attacked by plants. From the inside! This is why I don’t eat salads people.
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These Skeleton LED Gloves make your hands look like neon bones. I AM THE FUTURISTIC ROBOT SKELETON. Let’s get this rave started! Are raves still a thing? Do they rave about them? Does anyone have a spare pacifier I can borrow? One that hasn’t been in any orifices this time would be much appreciated. Yeah, very funny. Now turn down the lights and watch my hands do their thing!
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Are you the hunter or the hunted? Either way, this Werewolf Hunter Necklace is pretty damn sweet. I’m both. I hunt werewolves, so that no one will find out my secret identity is a werewolf. It’s the safest way to be a werewolf these days. Who would suspect? Why would you hunt your own kind? Of course the jig was up when they learned I could only hunt with them on non full moon nights. Which is like the only night they hunt on. So that didn’t last long.
I basically just looked up at the full moon, pointed at a hairy Italian guy and ran.
I am getting very sleepy. My eyelids are very heavy. I will do whatever you say. What? Because of the Optical Illusion Hypnotic Spiral Ring you are wearing? No, cuz I wanted those fries on your plate. You gonna eat those or what? Fries hypnotize me every time. Cool ring by the way. What’s it supposed to do?
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Wanna learn your future? Consult the Serpents Tarot Card Deck. No really. It’ll work. I’m not a snake oil salesman, I swear. Besides, you ever try to wring oil out of a snake? It’s not as easy as it sounds. Especially with the snake trying to bite the whole time. So I usually just grip it tight and put some lipstick on it, maybe a tiny hat. Really demoralize it so it stops struggling. Anyway, deal out some cards and read someones fortune.
Wait. Is this deck so you can give snakes tarot card readings? I’m a lot more confused than I thought I was, which is really saying something.
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