These Skull Couch Feet are like creepy sneakers for your couch. Cuz your couch’s feet get cold people. Give it some scary Nikes. People be like, Damn! Your couch come wit that?” And you’ll be all like, “Sweet ain’t it?” Your couch be all like, “I look good son! Now get me some badass armrests and a tattoo before I swallow one of you fat-asses whole!”
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Tag: couch
Coffin Couch
When you’re dead tired, relax on the coffin couch. You spend most of your time on the couch anyway. They might as well bury you in it. Just binge watch your favorite show and then close the lid for a nap. When it’s time for a longer nap, like a dirt nap, just have some friends pick the whole thing up and throw it in a hole in the backyard. Just like how I buried my pet parakeets. Only, you know, like on a 100X larger scale.
Hamburger Couch Pillows
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. Okay, these Hamburger Couch Pillows don’t have all of those things, but they come close. I would lay in this pile of pillows all day long, using the cheese as a blanket. Cuz I’m smart like that. And I’m already covered in cheese most days anyway.
*Looks down at yellow/orange shirt. Peels shirt off of my skin and starts eating it* Mmmmm. Still tastes like pepperoni! Why would I start the day off with a shirt when I knew I was gonna drip cheese all over myself anyway? What you call lazy, I call multitasking.
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