Tag: cheeseburger

North Carolina Restaurant Serves Up Tarantula Burgers

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North Carolina Restaurant Serves Up Tarantula Burgers
A North Carolina restaurant is doing everything they can to make sure that I never eat there. They have a nasty creation available to a few ‘lucky’ customers in the form of a tarantula-topped burger. Durham’s Bull City Burger and Brewery are having their annual ‘Exotic Meats Month.’ Exotic my arse!

The rotating menu has rabbit, python, camel, and a spider burger. First, you have to enter a raffle and, if your number be pulled, you have 48 hours to claim your spot at the spider table. If you eat the whole thing, you get a t-shirt.

Uhhhhhh. No thanks, I own several T-Shirts already.

Cheeseburger Backpack

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Cheeseburger Backpack
Cheeseburger backpack! It’s got lettuce and cheese sticking out of the bun. Probably has special sauce too. I’m gonna be so cool walking into the fast food place with this on my back. They’d ask what I want. I would just point to my backpack. Give me one of them. A cheeseburger. And hurry it up son. Acne face behind the counter will know what I mean. That guy’s gonna think I’m so awesome.

Until the guy behind me is all like, “Hey, nice backpack, dude! Is that another one in the front, under your shirt?”

Yeah. I can never be cool. *sighs* And no, that’s just my gut, the bastard child of a thousand cheeseburgers.

Cheeseburger Tie

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cheeseburger tie
I could drip grease and burger sauce all over this Cheeseburger Tie and nobody would notice. I’ll just wear it as a napkin and dab at the corners of mouth after every meal, like a truly civilized cheeseburger eater. Anyway, your accessories should match whatever you are putting in your mouth. At least that’s what Honey Boo Boo’s mom says. Which explains why she is fond of mayonnaise colored moo moos.

Sadly, I find myself blogging from KFC, where this tie won’t work at all. Anyway, I’m out. Time to close this laptop and get off the toilet. What the? No toilet paper? Is this a joke? Why would KFC not have toilet paper. Or even some napkins. Oh, that’s right. Cuz it’s finger lickin’ good! Real funny Colonel Sanders. Just for that I ain’t flushin’. There’s your bucket of chicken back.

Hamburger Couch Pillows

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hamburger couch pillows
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. Okay, these Hamburger Couch Pillows don’t have all of those things, but they come close. I would lay in this pile of pillows all day long, using the cheese as a blanket. Cuz I’m smart like that. And I’m already covered in cheese most days anyway.

*Looks down at yellow/orange shirt. Peels shirt off of my skin and starts eating it* Mmmmm. Still tastes like pepperoni! Why would I start the day off with a shirt when I knew I was gonna drip cheese all over myself anyway? What you call lazy, I call multitasking.
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This Hamburger Lamp Is Terrifying

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scary hamburger lamp
This hamburger lamp is a night light nightmare. Looks like Mayor McCheese turned into a Vampire. The irony is that people should be this scared of Mickey D’s burgers, but they’re not. Let that be a lesson to you. This burger bites back!

This hamburger night light will watch over you as you sleep. Payback for all of those hamburgers you ate in your life. Plus the two you ate today. You know what else is payback for all of those burgers? Endless diarrhea. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that one burger that was on display to show how they never decay. I thought that “2 years” label was how long it was good for, not how long my bowels would fight back.

Designer Jun Takahashi made this lamp in 2002. And like a real McDonald’s burger, it’s still around to haunt us. It will never decay.

via Neatorama