Tag: Design Toscano

Evil Eye Lamp

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Evil Eye Lamp
Hey, it’s the all seeing eye. Isn’t that what’s on the dollar bill? Also, the Illuminati uses it to indoctrinate those of weak mind. Illuminati? Nah. Illumi-nutty! No way they exist. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. My head is in the sand. Firmly. No need to come after me. We cool now? Aight!

Okay. Then this Evil Eye Lamp is pretty awesome. It has color changing LED’s and it promises not to hypnotize you and make you do crazy stuff. But it will remain bloodshot because it has no eyelid to moisten it. Plus, maybe it has allergies.

Knock-Jaw: Cast Iron Skull Door Knocker

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Knock-Jaw Cast Iron Skull Door Knocker
The Knock-Jaw: Cast Iron Skull Door Knocker lets guests take matters into their own hands when they hit your doorstep. By matters, I mean they take this skeleton’s jaw into their hands and knock on your door. Maybe you can leave some nuts out so they can crush them in this guy’s mouth and have a good treat.

Real nice. Someone shows up at your house and you tell them to eat your nuts.

Hey, I never had guests before. I’m doing my best. Maybe set out some tiny wieners?

In that case, maybe you should just stand outside naked.

Yeah well… Maybe that’s why I invited you over, so I could have a tiny wiener. Snap! Burn son! Oh, that didn’t sound good did it? You’re probably leaving now right? Yeah, a bit awkward. Now I get why the only people who come to the door are UPS guys and random people with bibles.

Zombie Gothic Wall Sculpture

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Zombie Gothic Wall Sculpture
Awwww! Look at these two. they look like such a cute couple. He clearly has her heart. Or someone’s heart on his pitchfork. With this Zombie Gothic Wall Sculpture, you get all of the classic art that is American Gothic, with a zombie spin.

This wall plaque will look great on your wall, whether you have other zombie decor or not. I would hate to meet this couple in a dark hallway. So I’m just gonna always keep that hallway lit. Just in case.

“The Creepy Thing” Wall Sculpture

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The Creepy Thing Wall Sculpture
I don’t know what’s up with me today. I’m all eyes and fingers. That’s what this guy is saying. This weird wall sculpture would make a perfect coat rack or key holder.

Just ordered one. When it gets here, I’m gonna attach him to my fly and walk around the mall. If I’m still a free man after a few hours, I’m gonna go home and put him on the back of my chair and force him to massage me. There’s a good pair of monster hands.

Crazy Alien Skull Statue

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alien skull
Damn! This Crazy Alien Skull Statue is freaking me out. This would be a kick-butt home to the world’s most badass hermit crab. Can you imagine a crab walking up to you wearing this thing as a house? That is some end times apocalypse stuff right there.

With or without a crab, this thing will look awesome on your desk. Cuz you know, freaky alien skull.

Fun fact: Like the hermit crab, my hips can anchor in my doorway, but I’m just not strong enough to carry the house yet.