Skull Full Of Souls Box

Skull Full Of Souls Box
This Skull Full Of Souls Box is a great place to keep all of your trinkets, candy,dice, whatever. Tormented souls are all over thing thing. Kinda like this blog. *Rim shot* Nah. I love ya all even if you do have problems. And I’m saying that wearing a sequinned dress made out of meat as I kick back glass after glass of whiskey.

Don’t judge. Not my fault I Quantum Leap all over the place. Once I set stuff right, I’m outta here. Today was “Try a sequinned dress made out of meat” day. Still haven’t leaped. Running out of ideas. F Lady Gaga anyway. *Falls and breaks neck.*

*Blue light everywhere. Leaping! I’m leaping!*

Oh THATS what needed to be set right!
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Skelly Claus Holiday Skeleton Ornament Set

Skelly Claus Holiday Skeleton Ornament Set
What the skell man! This Skelly Claus Holiday Skeleton Ornament Set has attitude. No really. I get the feeling that it would flip me off if it was still connected to a middle finger. I don’t think he likes me. You get 3 of these grumpy skeleton heads in the set, which is 3 times the heads on my tree that won’t like me on Christmas morning.

C’mon Skelly, don’t be like that. It’s not like I made fun of your name and called you smelly. Or pointed out that your body is missing. You’re a real headcase ya know that? Let’s sing some Christmas songs k?

“I really can’t stay – Baby it’s skulled outside. I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s skulled outside.” Maybe that was a bad choice. We should put on a concert, but maybe not. I know you’re concerned about scalpers… Zing! Burn baby!

Starting to see why ya don’t like me now. I’m kind of an A-hole.

Zombie Claus Holiday Statue

Zombie Claus Holiday Statue
Zombie Claus is here to deck the halls with rotting flesh and candy brains instead of candy canes. The stocking will be hung from the chimney with terror this year. This jolly moldy elf wants to take a bite out of your flesh. But that’s only after you hear the pitter-patter of undead reindeer on your roof and a groaning and rasping coming down your chimney. Christmas is now the day of the dead. I hope you got a shotgun last year, cuz you need it this year.

Bigfoot Christmas Ornaments

bigfoot ornament
Have a Bigfoot sighting on your Christmas tree. Without hitting the alcohol I mean. You can get these Bigfoot Christmas Ornaments singly or as a 3 pack. Ohh la la. Menage-a-squatch.

Jingle Bells,
Yeti smells,
Sasquatch laid an egg…

Actually that was me. Sorry about that. Eggnog gives me gas.

Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set

Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set
Creeptastic! Holy Goth! This Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set will let you write all of your horror fan-fic, ransom notes, poison pen letters and other assorted weirdness. You get four skull-topped ink pens and a skeleton vessel to hold them in.

Man, I wish I had a skeleton vessel. “Full speed ahead!” I would shout from atop it’s spine, posed like George Washington leading the charge, as the skeleton beast walks toward the enemy. *Suddenly all of it’s bones shatter and leave me half-buried in a pile of bone.* “Damn you and your lack of calcium!”